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“I remembered you, from before. Remembered the way I felt.”
She took a step closer to him, her heart racing with an unanswered rhythm. “How did you feel? Why did you lead me away?”
Lucian swallowed as the hedge’s tunnel rushed past them, the dreamscape changing as it did, until they stood inside a glass skybridge at Sol facing one another. Stars sparkled in the night sky surrounding them.
Brinna was afraid he wasn’t going to answer, but then Lucian took her hands in his.
“I wanted you for myself.”
Her breath caught, surprised at his admission.
“Even then,” he admitted. “I’d never felt nervous in my whole life. Not even the day my father escorted me to my rite of passage pleasure ceremony. Excited, yes. Not nervous.”
She wanted to ask what he was talking about but didn’t risk the question, afraid to bring an end to what he was telling her.
“I hid the way, because I wanted you for myself. Then I felt guilty.”
“How come?”
“I’d trapped my brother. How could I keep you from possibly breaking the spell because I selfishly wanted you for myself?”
He wanted her! She smiled, unable to contain the fresh joy coursing through her. “It turned out to be the right choice,” she said, her voice soft. “Auri broke it.”
His eyes searched hers. “But they were yoked, and now he’s in pain. And…”
She took a step closer to him. “And?”
“And I really want to kiss you. Like I did the night of the dance.”
Brinna’s heart sputtered to life inside her chest. “To kiss me?”
Lucian nodded, and his eyes caught on her mouth.
Nerves fluttered inside of her. Though this was a dream, it also wasn’t—not really. And though they’d kissed before in a dream—done so much more—she hadn’t known it was real. So she turned away and walked across the bridge into the atrium where the night sky was dark overhead. The torches were lit in the central garden and sconces glowed around the room. It was so romantic, and her heart swooned, longing for that connection, but for some reason she feared it and couldn’t decide why.
“Maybe we should talk about something else. Something related to solving this problem,” she said, grabbing hold of Tarley’s bite and Auri’s efficiency.
Lucian’s footsteps tapped on the floor behind her. “Do you have anything new to add?”
“No.”
“Good. I want to talk about this.”
She turned, walking backwards along an atrium path. “I think you’re going to wake up.” She didn’t want him to but said it anyway, deflecting.
He laughed. “Not yet.” He followed her. “Tell me, Brinna. Your dreams?—”
“You promised not to use that against me.” She turned her back to him once more.
“I don’t want to use it against you. I want to…Brinna? Would you please stop?”
She did, took a deep breath, and turned to face him. She could feel the heat moving beneath her skin. He’d stopped several paces away, the golden torchlight lighting his beautiful face and the greenery around him.
“You asked me to stay. You asked me to confess. Why are you running now?”
And she knew, suddenly, why she was deflecting. “I’m afraid.”
She could have lied to him, but for so long, she couldn’t remember when someone had asked her how she was, how she felt, what she felt. She knew her family loved her, but they were stuck in their own lives. She’d spent so much time taking care of them, understood who she was—if she’d ever known beyond it—defined by her relationship to them.
