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“And Lily…” she began hesitantly. “It sounds like she’s still a little impulsive and immature. And I know there was a lot going on, but she sounds kind of bratty. Maybe you’re dodging a bullet with this one and you’ll chalk it up to one of life’s experiences and learn from it and move on.”
He took a minute to let that sink in.
“I don’t know if I could continue to work here then,” he confessed. “The thought of seeing her and knowing our history? I just don’t think I’d be comfortable.”
“Oh, sweetheart, you think that now because it’s all fresh. She never came around for three years. I’ll bet once William is home and recovered, she’s going to stop coming around to the office.”
“Maybe.”
“Trust me. I’m used to dealing with bratty, immature people,” she murmured, and he knew she was referring to his father.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course!”
“What attracted you to Dad?”
Doreen was silent for several long moments. “That…that wasn’t what I expected. Why would you even ask that?”
“Honestly? Because I’m the total opposite of him. I’m the guy who’s respectful and cautious and basically a decent human being, and I feel like…guys like Dad? Guys who are shitty human beings? They have all the luck.”
She let out a long breath. “Do women have a thing for bad boys? Absolutely. It’s a common thing and we all know it’s wrong, but we do it anyway. With your father…I don’t know. Back when we met, he wasn’t the train wreck he turned into. And, at the time, I thought we were just having fun. Then we got pregnant with you, and…”
“And I ruined your life,” he finished for her. “So this is karma. Awesome.”
“Stop being so damn dramatic,” she said with a small laugh. “Be thankful you’re nothing like your father. Although, you’re both good-looking and charming with great senses of humor. The difference is you have a great moral compass where your father didn’t.”
“And yet you kept taking him back,” he reminded her. They didn’t talk about this often, hardly ever actually, but right now, he just needed to understand some things.
“I took him back for the sake of our family and because I was too young to understand that we would have been better off without him. I never took him back because of love, and I’m ashamed to admit that. I didn’t have the confidence in myself to know that I could raise my boys without him.” She paused. “Probably wouldn’t have Jax now if I hadn’t taken him back, so…that’s my consolation prize. I have three wonderful boys and it was worth all the heartache with your father for that reason.”
“I guess.”
“Here’s the thing, Noah, everyone messes up. None of us are perfect. Sometimes we say stupid things in the heat of the moment or sometimes we don’t step up or stand up for ourselves when we know we should. If you love someone, you forgive them when they do these things. But they have to do it too. It can’t all be one-sided. That’s what it was like with your dad. He was quick to put the blame on me for his bad behavior, but never took any responsibility.”
Damn.
“So what do I do?”
“You wait. I know you’re a patient man, Noah, and I believe if this girl means something to you that you’ll know when the time is right to talk to her.” She paused again. “However, you make sure that she takes responsibility for the things she’s done too. And if the two of you can talk things out, then I believe you have a chance, even if her father continues to be an over-protective jerk!”
“Mom…”
“What? Am I lying?”
“Fine, but it just sounds weird when you say it.” Leaning back in his chair, he closed his eyes. “Can I ask you one more thing?”
“Baby boy, you can ask me as many things as you’d like,” she said softly. “I’ve got all the time in the world.”
That made him smile. “If it comes down to it and I choose my job over this relationship, does that make me a terrible person?”
She didn’t respond right away, and he knew she was really giving this some thought and not saying something she thought he wanted to hear.
“A career is a wonderful thing,” she began slowly. “And after the way we lived for most of your life, I would say that having financial security is a very big thing for you.”
When she didn’t continue, he prompted her. “And…?”
“But living your life for a job is a lonely life, Noah. While you may find comfort in a padded bank account, it’s not a substitute for someone to share your life with.” This time her pause was shorter. “And I’m not specifically mentioning Lily because you don’t know if she’s the one for you. However, if you open your heart up to her or someone else, it can be far more rewarding.”
