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But Noah was shaking his head. “Without you, that’s exactly who I am. I know you said things are too chaotic right now and we should…”
Her hand instantly covered his mouth. “I was wrong! God…” Lowering her hand, she took a step back. “In the moment, I swore it was the best option and that it was the least selfish thing I could do,” she explained. “But then you said you loved me and all I wanted to say was that I loved you too, but…but…”
This time, he was the one to silence her with a kiss.
Everything in him relaxed because she loved him.
Other than his mom and brothers, no one had ever said that to him before, and he needed a minute to let it all sink in and savor it.
Just like he was savoring the taste of her.
It was crazy how much he’d missed her, and as much as he would be more than happy to keep doing this and then carry her across the room to the bed, there were things they needed to talk about first.
I hate being this way…
Once again, he was the one to break the kiss, but smiled at the dazzled look on her face.
“You’re really here,” she whispered.
“I’m really here,” he replied softly, resting his forehead on hers. “I think we need to talk, though. We spent a lot of time in our own little world and not talking about things that we really should have been discussing. We need to know what we’re both thinking. I don’t want any surprises like that morning at the hospital.”
“I know. I still can’t believe I even said that to you.” Taking his hand in hers, she led them across the room to the sofa. There was a pair of sliding glass doors and when he stepped closer, he asked, “Is that the ocean?”
She nodded.
Noah stood there in wonder. “This is the closest I’ve ever been to the beach.”
Lily stood beside him and then slid open the doors to the balcony and led him out. “Close your eyes and take a deep breath,” she told him. “It’s too dark to get the total sensory experience, but it’s even better when you’re down there with your toes in the sand. We’ll do that tomorrow.”
He couldn’t help but chuckle as he opened his eyes and looked at her. “I’m going to hold you to that.”
Moving in close, she wrapped her arms around him. “As long as you hold me, there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do.”
There were a couple of chairs on the balcony and he figured they could talk out there just as easily as they could inside. Noah sat and was about to pull Lily down onto his lap, but if they were going to have a serious discussion, then she should be in her own chair. He waited until she sat to speak.
“How’s the audition process going?”
She shrugged. “Alright, I guess.”
He could tell she wasn’t being totally honest with him, so he simply waited her out.
With a huff, she explained. “It’s just not what I thought it would be. The way I felt when I first came here six months ago isn’t how I feel right now at all. I’m going through the motions, but…” Another sigh. “This isn’t what I want.”
“O-kay…what do you want?”
She didn’t respond right away, so that told him she was genuinely thinking about it and not just saying what she thought he wanted to hear.
“That week that I spent renting studio space? I loved just being able to dance, to just put on the music and choreograph whatever I wanted, with no real limitations other than the ones I put on myself. I loved seeing the smile on the younger students’ faces when they mastered something they hadn’t before…” Pausing, she looked at him. “I think I want to teach. I mean…it was always something I knew I’d do, but I thought it would be later on down the line. I thought I’d be dancing in shows and traveling the world and then when I got tired of it, I’d teach.”
“You can still do all those things now,” he reasoned. “The traveling or performing in shows, but you can also teach. It’s not an all-or-nothing thing.”
But she was shaking her head. “I’ve missed my family,” she said with a slight tremble in her voice. “I’ve spent so much time away from them that I’m miserable. I’ve been alone for a lot of years and I swore it was what I wanted, but now? Now I feel like nothing I do feels right if there isn’t anyone around to share it with.”
“I’m sure you have friends…”
“I do,” she quickly replied. “But it’s not the same. The kind of friends I have are also my competition, and it’s exhausting sometimes.”
“Then it seems like a simple solution,” he said quietly. “You don’t have to be here in Miami.”
