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The cadence of our conversation feels natural and almost mundane compared to the last few weeks. And for a few minutes, I forget about all the bad things that have happened to us.
“I don’t think she knows, really. She’s talked about therapy, law, and becoming a teacher. I think she’s exploring her options.”
“Nothing wrong with that,” Niccolo shrugs. “You’d do well to follow her lead.”
I tilt my head at him with a knowing look. “You know I want to be a Child Psychologist one day,” I remind him.
“Of course,” he replies smoothly, “but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t check out other options. Take a creative writing class, or dabble in web design. There could be something out there that fills your well that you haven’t even considered yet.”
Since I haven’t seen him in a couple of weeks, I haven’t filled him in on the latest. He doesn’t know that Giovanni is taking me away after the spring semester or that I won’t be allowed to come back to Blackmore. I’m still hoping that Dante finds a suitable alternative, but in lieu of a reprieve from this marriage, I should lower Niccolo’s expectations.
“About next semester,” I begin.
“I should tell you about something,” Niccolo starts simultaneously.
For a minute, we laugh, and he scoots closer to me. “You go ahead,” I usher him forward, wanting to enjoy the comfort of our shared tranquility for another minute before I tear it all down.
But Niccolo’s face changes. A dark cloud hovers overhead, shadowing his features. “There was an incident before the funeral. Luciano was caught in an alley by some Lucatello thugs, and they hurt him pretty badly.”
Announcing my news first wouldn’t have fared any better. Instead of me breaking into a cold sweat, he would have. “He’s-he’s alive, right?” I stutter, feeling like someone pulled the rug out from under my feet.
“Yes, of course,” Niccolo reassures me with a warm smile and another gentle squeeze. “But it’s escalating this thing between our families, and I’m afraid this won’t have a happy ending.”
I’m sure he’s right. In what universe does the back and forth between the Lucatellos and the Terlizzis end with a happily ever after?
“I’m sorry about Luc. I don’t know what’s come over my family. I-I’m not even involved with them. I don’t understand.”
Niccolo nods solemnly, shifting his weight in my direction. “It’s okay. Nobody blames you for what’s happening. Family alliances change all the time, and peace is expected but rarely achieved. Even when there aren’t full-scale wars, there are skirmishes like ours.”
“I wish my mother hadn’t died,” I groan. “She could have protected me from this. Maybe if she were still alive, the Lucatellos wouldn’t be fighting with the Terlizzis.”
“Maybe.” Niccolo voices with uncertainty. “But if your mother were still alive, we wouldn’t have found each other.”
My lips part in an attempt to correct him, but the words become trapped in my throat.
Losing my mother meant finding the love of my life; keeping her would have meant spending the rest of my life searching for someone who could only ever make me feel half as alive as Nic has. No matter which course my life would have taken, I would have lost someone important to me.
“But you’d have been safe,” Niccolo adds after a moment. “And maybe your safety is more important than what the two of us have.”
As he says it, I know that he’s wrong. I’m sad I lost my mother, but I needed to. It would have hurt more to spend the rest of my life hoping to find what I have with Nic.
“No,” I reach out to lay my hand on top of his. “It’s not. What matters is you and me.”
At the beginning of the semester, all I wanted was to get away from my stepfather. Now, I would give anything to keep him by my side forever. He is flawed and complicated, and our relationship is messy, but I love him.
Before Nic can respond, the door opens and Kaye returns. “Do you want a Christmas tree or a Santa cookie? Both are sugar.” She offers, shoving a plate our way.
Niccolo draws his hand from my leg and places it in his lap. “I think that’s my cue to go. Have a good Christmas if I don’t see you before then, Kaye,” he chirps. “And take care of my girl.”
“I always do.”
He stretches as he gets off the bed. “These mattresses are trash. You should come home for the holidays, Christine.”
He sounds like my father again, but maybe that’s okay. With my best friend watching, I’d rather he be fatherly than sensual. “I’ll think about it. If Kaye goes back to Manhattan, I will, too.”
“She’ll be back for Christmas then,” Kaye announces as she sits at her desk. “I’ll be spending the day with my mother.”
Niccolo bows his head respectfully at her on the way out. “Tell Carrie I said hello.”
