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‘I’m calling Paula,’ he says, ignoring me. ‘She can fill me in on what I’ve missed.’ He looks around. ‘Could you pass me the home phone? I need to get a new mobile.’
I do as he asks and hand him the phone. ‘Won’t she be extra busy? Why would you want to burden her with having more to worry about? Just rest, Max. Everything will be taken care of.’
I sit next to him and pull out my phone. ‘Do you remember this woman?’ I ask, showing him the screen. ‘She was found dead at the River Walk Hotel.’
He glances at the picture before looking away. ‘How am I supposed to remember that when I can’t even remember the last few months?’
‘I know. I’m just trying to find ways to jog your memory. I feel helpless, Max. I just want to help you.’
He stares at me for a moment then takes my hand. His skin feels different. Rougher.
Everything is different.
Then he lets go, and slowly his eyes begin to close, the phone call he wanted to make forgotten about.
He’s still asleep when I leave to pick up Poppy, so I slip out of the house, relieved to escape the stifling walls of our home. The prison it has become.
All the way back, Poppy talks about all the special things she’s going to do for Max. ‘I can draw him a picture. A rainbow. Will Daddy like that? I can make it sparkly.’
‘He’ll love anything you draw,’ I say, gripping her hand tighter. It does nothing to stop tears pricking my eyes.
When we get back, Max isn’t on the sofa where I left him. I call out but there’s no answer.
‘Where’s Daddy?’ Poppy asks.
‘I don’t know. Let’s go and check.’
We find him in the bedroom, lying in bed with the laptop open on top of the duvet. There’s a pained expression on his face. He’s not ready for this. For work. Or any of it.
Poppy rushes towards him and tries to throw herself at him. ‘Stop! Be careful,’ I warn.
And even though he winces, Max slowly places an arm around her. ‘I’ve missed you,’ he says. ‘And Mummy.’ He glances at me. ‘I hope you’ve been looking after her.’
Poppy giggles. ‘No, silly. I’m only five. Mummy has to look afterme.’
He looks at me, then turns back to Poppy. ‘Yep, that’s how it should be.’
‘But you’re sick, Daddy, so we both have to look afteryou.’
‘This is all I need to get better,’ Max says. ‘A hug from my little girl.’ He glances at me again, and there’s something in his eyes. Defiance?
I walk out of the room and leave them to it. Neither of them notices I’ve gone.
Later, when Poppy’s in bed, Max and I sit on the sofa eating dinner on our laps.
‘Have you been using the laptop?’ he asks, stabbing his fork into his chicken. ‘I can’t get into it. It’s locked me out.’
‘No.’
His eyes narrow as he looks at me. ‘Maybe I did it before the attack. Can’t see why I would have, though. I need to get into it. Without my phone I can’t even check my emails.’
‘You can use my iPad. And you can get a new phone. You shouldn’t be worrying about?—’
‘I know. But it’s not just work. It’s my link to the outside world. I’ll go crazy just stuck in this house. I need to know what’s happening out there.’
‘A woman is dead.’ The words seem to shatter around us.
‘Why are you saying that?’
