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I wanted to hold onto them and treasure the memories. Of the shirt I wore while Tessie played silly, off-tune lullabies for me on the piano. The satin sleeping shorts Bastian tore off of me when he took me in the hallway of his penthouse. His Wharton shirt I loved to sleep in—the one that still smelled of him.
But I didn’t deserve those memories.
I’d done this to us.
I’d let us come together, knowing the house that built us was made entirely of lies.
I’d expected Wilks to be surprised as I wandered into his office. Technically, I still had my cover to maintain. I shouldn’t have even come close to the bureau’s headquarters.
But for weeks now, I’d been telling myself I needed to end this. Bastian and I were over, but it didn’t change the fact that I couldn’t work here anymore.
“I’m quitting,” I told Wilks without taking a seat.
Again, he didn’t look surprised. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yes. Okay.”
I almost laughed at how little faith he had in me. “If you’ve always thought this day would come, why did you recruit me?”
“For one, a friend suggested you. And two, I’ve always believed in you.”
“A friend suggested me?”
“Yes. A mutual friend.”
We had no mutual friends.
“I don’t understand. And…” I exhaled a breath, finally ready to lay out all my truths, including everything that frustrated me. “You never believed in me. I got the worst assignments, the worst caseloads. I was never given a chance to succeed here. And then you threw me into the deep end with this assignment.”
“I knew you would be fine.”
“How?!”
He slid a file to me. I couldn’t wrap my mind around this conversation, and when I opened the file, the pieces fit together so clearly, I couldn’t believe I hadn’t seen it before.
Wilks was the Romano’s inside man. Vince was our mutual friend. That was how Vince had known about my cover. My last name. He’d given me to the bureau in the first place.
He’d led me down this path.
And this folder… it was Vince’s parting gift.
His last request.
I shut it and drew it to my chest like a shield as Wilks spoke.
“I never gave you those assignments because I underestimated you. I gave them to you because I cared about you. I couldn’t give two shits about Simmons. He could die, and I could move on unaffected, but the thought of you getting hurt…” He shook his head. “I don’t hate you. I want what’s best for you.”
“I own nothing. I have no one. And now, I have no job. How is this what’s best for me?”
“I’ve kept tabs on you during your cover. I didn’t just hand you off to Dr. Clemson and wish for the best. Your belongings can be replaced. You’re well-qualified. A legend who has learned to adapt under the worst circumstances. You can always find a job. As for not having anyone, it’s not your time.”
“What does that even mean?”
“It means you’ve spent twenty-nine years feeling guilty for something that’s not your fault, and in the past months you’ve healed more than you’ve healed in your entire life.”
I wanted to fight at his mention of my mom. Instead, I succumbed to the truth threaded within them. “Because of Bastian.”
