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Bastiano Romano has added Lucy Black to The Real Housewives.

Damiano De Luca: HA.

Bastiano Romano has added Renata De Luca to The Real Housewives.

Rafaello Rossi: Bruh…

Bastiano Romano has added Carina Andretti, Minka Andretti, Olivia Camerino, and Sofia Rossi to The Real Housewives.

Bastiano Romano: It got real quiet in here. Did your phones run out of batteries? I hear Asher has a pack upstairs.

THE END. (REALLY, THIS TIME.)

Acknowledgments

Chloe, I love you.

I miss you.

I need you.

L, you are my family.

Thank you for the hand massages when I’ve typed so long, my wrists and fingers feel a few seconds short of falling off.

Thank you for caring for the fur babies when I’m cooped up writing.

Thank you for tackling my problems as if they’re your own because you know I’m trying to finish a manuscript and, contrary to popular belief, I almost never have my shit together.

Bau, you’re my life. I love ever inch of you—inside and out.

Rose, you have so much character, innocence, and heart. I love you so much. Even when you interfere with my writing. LOL.

Odette, you have been such a good friend to me since day one. I can’t articulate how much that means to me.

Heidi, my butterflying-loving, word-slaying, fur baby-raising future wife. I love you so much. There is no way I can ever repay what you do for me.

You get my words. You get me. Beyond that, you are such a phenomenal friend, I cannot wait to steal you away from your husband.

(Brian, I’ll send you a mixed tape with Trey Songz’s “Mr. Steal Your Girl” as a consolation gift. Worry not.)

Heather, you make me laugh. You keep me sane. I feel so comfortable freaking out to you. You are a friend, a guru, and a therapist in one gorgeous package. Thank you. So, so much.

Ava, I cannot believe you deal with me. *Excuse me while I figure out how to put a Jeffrey the Facebook Alien sticker in here.* Real talk—I love your advice, our friendship, and you!

Amanda and Brittany—rather: loyal subjects of Parker’s Dicktatorship—thank you so much for taking Bastian on last minute and tackling all these issues—including my mounting anxiety.

You guys are seriously underpaid. By underpaid, I mean: I should probably start paying you. You guys make me laugh and smile when I am freaking the F out.

(See a theme here? I freak out a lot.)

Tristan, thank you for being the smartest kid I’ve ever met. Thank you for being the inspiration for Tessie and every other smart kid I’ve ever written.

Also, thank you for writing me an amazeballs Christmas story, then giving it to my sister for her Christmas gift. UGH. Not like I’m bitter or anything. (I am.)

D.C. and Lacy, thank you for breathing life into my manuscripts…especially when one is as late as this one. And it was embarrassingly late.

Gem, thank you for dealing with my super late, unprofessional self. I mean, you’re such a rockstar. I am amazed by you. In awe!!! You live up to your name.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
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