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Silently, my eyes raked the room. There was so much I wanted to say, but I knew that it could break something that was not yet even glued.
“What about you, Nem? Are you happy being pregnant?”
I straightened, swallowing my fear and letting the words rip from my throat before I lost my courage.
“I’m…unsure. We’re constantly fighting. We set a world record in miscommunications. And you just slept with someone else a week ago to get back at me—and not for the first time. I kissed Angelo last week, furious with the truth about you and my father, but I didn’t take it any further. We’re volatile and unfaithful. We don’t live in the same wing…”
“We will,” he cut me off. “If that’s what you want.”
“We need some time to think.”
I needed some time apart from him. Not because I didn’t love him, but because I loved him too much to make a conscious, healthy decision for our baby.
“There’s nothing to think about. I didn’t sleep with Karolina. I couldn’t do it. I wanted to—God, Nemesis, I wanted to fuck you out of my life for good—but there could never be anyone else. It is you that I love. It is you whom I want. It is you whom makes living a spectacular thing I want to experience, rather than participate in reluctantly, every day.”
I felt the tears sliding down my cheeks, fat and salty. We were so good at hurting each other.
This had to stop.
“I kissed another,” I whispered. “I cheated on you.”
“I forgive you.” He cupped my cheeks in his big hands. “Forgive yourself, and let’s move on. Come back home, Nem.”
“Nothing happened in that hotel room.”
“I don’t give a fuck what happened between then and there. I believe you, but it makes no difference. I want to start this over. The right way.”
“I need time.”
The words broke me.
Maybe because they were brutally honest.
I needed time to digest everything that was happening. To make sure this was not just another grand gesture he was going to offer and forget about the next morning.
We fell in love fast and slow. Hard and soft. With everything we had in us, yet we both refused to give anything away. We didn’t have time to digest what was happening.
We clashed into each other’s lives with our walls still up. We needed to start over. We needed to flirt. We needed to distribute the power between us, this time more equally.
We needed to learn to fight without wounding each other. Without running into other people’s arms. Without dragging and tossing each other into rooms like wild beasts.
“It should be my choice to be with you. You understand that, right?”
Wolfe nodded, standing up before he changed his mind. I could tell it took a tremendous effort for him not to demand from me what he used to think he deserved.
He made his way to the door, and I wanted to take the words back and go with him. But I couldn’t.
I had to be better for the person inside me.
A person I was going to be able to save, like my mother couldn’t.
Wolfe stopped at the threshold, his back still to me.
“Can I call you?”
“Yes.” I let out a breath. “Can I text you?”
“You may. Can I book you an appointment with an OB-GYN?”
