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He groaned. “We’ve already broken all the rules, Tildy.”
“Not all of them,” she insisted. She’d ridden his bike, and she was in his bed, but they hadn’t broken all the rules. “Just tonight,” she promised, and he pulled back just enough to gaze into her eyes, trying to gauge whether or not she meant it.
“Tildy-” he started to argue.
“I don’t want him to have it.”
A silence lingered between them, and, even in the dark, she could see his eyes narrow.
“Is that what you were doing with that asshole tonight? Gonna give it to him?”
She bit her lip. Through a haze of booze, it hadn’t sounded nearly as bad. Just get it over with. But the truth was, Tildy didn’t want to just get it over with. She didn’t want Tate to take her virginity; that was true enough. The whole truth was that she wanted Hawk to have it, though saying it aloud might send him from the room.
“I don’t want him to have it,” she repeated more firmly.
“Why did you say yes?” he demanded.
The bitterness flared back up inside her. “Because he asked,” she said just as sharply, which was not exactly the truth.
Hawk actually shrank a tiny bit from her, and she felt guilt flooding through her. It was unfair to put it that way. She didn’t need Hawk to propose. She just needed him to say this was something, that it could be something, but he couldn’t even give her that much.
The moment lingered between them. She thought he would say no, push her off him, and leave her alone in the room. Instead, he cupped her face. “Tonight,” he said adamantly. She nodded, holding her breath.
Chapter 43
She was lying. Hell, he probably was too, even if they were both trying to believe it. Tildy did that to him, made him break all his rules. Everything was different with her. He wanted her to be safe, but it wasn’t enough. He had to be the one to protect her, not just hear from someone else that she was okay. As much as he hated her tears, he didn’t want anyone else wiping them away. What would happen when he was the cause of them?
God, he didn’t want Tate to have what she wanted to give him. Tate wasn’t man enough to take it. Hawk wasn’t man enough to tell her no either, a fact he was trying hard not to think about. He was always off balance with her, always doing things he knew he shouldn’t. He reached into the nightstand drawer and dug out a condom from the box he used to fill his wallet. He tossed it onto the mattress next to them.
He moved over her and kissed her, slow and lingering, though he knew damn well he wasn’t stopping at just her lips. As she relaxed, he slid his hands underneath her and unfastened her bra. She sucked in a breath, trembling a little, and he realized she may never have let someone see her naked before. He let out a small groan, his cock already raging in his shorts.
He left the bra in place and brushed his lips over hers again. “Shhh, it’s okay,” he told her quietly. He kissed her while his fingertips slid the lacy material down between them, covering her with his own broad chest. He trailed his lips down her jaw line to her bare shoulder. His hair fell down in a curtain onto her chest, blocking her view of him, but he knew she felt it when his mouth found the swell of her breast.
He gently pulled her nipple, already taut and aching, into his mouth. Tildy sighed and arched her back. He stripped the bra away and tossed it aside, his lips never leaving her flesh. She was soft and hard in all the right places for him.
He trailed his tongue between her breasts and down her belly. He stopped at the waistline of her panties and began tugging at them. He slid them down and off and surprised her by nipping her thigh.
“Open for me,” he ordered.
Tildy hesitated, shocked.
Instead of arguing with her about it though, he licked her slowly on her thigh, just below her pussy. She sighed sweetly and soon forgot that she was nervous, allowing her legs to open as her eyes closed. She was lost to the sweep of his tongue. He ran his fingers through her soft hair, just teasing though, not pressing hard. Tildy gasped. He wasn’t sure it was possible to ever get tired of hearing that.
He spread her swollen folds with his hands and gazed at her pink center that was starting to glisten for him. He breathed deeply, taking in her scent, reminding him of that night in the rain. Then he sealed his mouth over her and knew for certain that she tasted like fresh, clean rain, as well.
