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“And you should at least be dressed. It’s eight o’clock.”
I don’t think she sleeps. She was scrubbing the floor outside the common room when I left last night at midnight after my last round of Zelda.
“I was up late.” I yawn, stretching my arms above my head as she gives a little side eye toward my new colorful bedding.
It’s not a lie. Martin kept his promise about the phone calls but said he would call again at 3 AM before he left for the airport. I barely slept, scared I would sleep through the alarm I set on the old school digital clock in my room.
He called again early this morning while he was waiting to board his flight.
“I miss you.” I whispered into the heavy black phone behind the closed door of the little office where I’ve taken every phone call since he left.
“Good girl. I’m taking care of things. I’ll tell you more when I can. You’re always on my mind little dove. So, have a good day. I’ll be home soon.”
The way he said that, ‘I’ll be home soon’ made my insides do ten kinds of cartwheels but what does it really mean?
The phone calls came on time, but our conversations were short. Simple. Soothing but not…I don’t know. There was no heat. More like a father than a lover.
He told me he had spoken to Hoover and my mother as well. Let them know I was doing fine and that I’d earn the privilege of a call soon. There was a pang of homesickness, more for my mom, but just also for the feeling of home which I haven’t had in a long time.
It also made me think of Baby and truth, I don’t care if I ever speak to Hoover again. Tears spring to my eyes at the thought of her soft purring, the way she used to knead my belly before she snuggled into my bed for the night.
Nathalia is sighing and huffing as she inspects my bathroom which I’m supposed to keep clean but, it’s not one of my strengths and keeping her disappointment masked is not one of hers.
“Such a mess.” She grouses and my heart is more achy as each minute passes.
The obstacles are looming stone walls and the doubts about what this really means feel like a backpack full of boulders strapped to my shoulders.
I thought about making a plan and just leaving. I could make a call to an Uber, but I don’t have any money. I could just start walking, but to where? Again, no money.
Besides, it’s pretty nice here. I’ve been puttering around in the chemistry lab, the dreams of being a doctor still twinkle in my dreams.
Then, there’s mom. And Hoover. That’s all still a mess and how to untie all the knots there is more than I want to take on right now.
But, Martin is still a priest and I’m his student. A moment of temptation does not a relationship make. Am I being romantically hysterical imagining either we could go on like we are, or that he would leave his calling?
Seems unlikely.
I know he’s back. I caught sight of the limo delivering him to the front doors of the rectory an hour ago before I hopped back in bed pretty much expecting a visit, but the only visit that happened was Nathalia and her cleaning bucket.
Desperate. I don’t want to seem desperate.
“…and when you speak to him he’s going to want to see that you—” Sister Nathalia glares at me. “Are you listening, Kitty?”
“Yes.”
“Then what did I just say?”
I shrug. “That my lessons with Father Martin will resume today.” I take a shot in the dark.
“And…?”
“And I’m to be on my best behavior.” I haven’t been listening and I don’t give a shit.
Knowing he’s back and didn’t come right to me makes me want to run. I want my phone. I want to call round all the shelters in Florida and ask them if they have my cat. And somehow find a way to get her back.
At least you kept your V card. You didn’t give him that…
Nathalia grunts like some farmyard animal. “That’s not what I said. Although you could afford to be better behaved around him. You know, he’s a good man, he does good things. The work he performs here is God’s work and he’s good at it. Young women like yourself,” she looks pointedly at me, “come here troubled, without direction, and he does his best to turn them around. I respect and admire Father Martin and you should too.”
