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“You could never waste my time.” His voice has that sexy dragging through gravel sound and I feel myself melting. My flesh is turning slick and my heart is beating between my thighs. And I really do want to stay. “Tell me whatever you want little dove. I’m sorry I had to leave. I had… a few things to do. Things I had to make right.”
“Because of me?”
“No. Notbecauseof you.” He hesitates. “Because of me. Deals I made a long time ago. Things I’ve had to follow through on.” He sounds distant, like he’s not telling me everything. Like maybe, he’s having second thoughts and how could he not?
“Do you hate me?” I blurt out. It’s not really what I want to ask, but it’s the little girl in me, feeling that rejection and wanting it to go away no matter what. Wanting to test him.
Another pause, and my heart thunders. This is the moment, another pineapple on pizza moment but way, way bigger.
“No, Kitty, I could never hate you. What we did was—”
“It was good, Martin,” I blurt, using his first name, needing the playing field a bit more level right now. “I wanted you. Did you want me?”
“Yes, but I want to do this right.”
“So, are you saying what we did was wrong?” My chest collapses, is this it? He’s letting me down easy?
“Yes, but—no--” There’s a low grunt, a mumble, “Kitty, right and wrong…it’s not that simple.”
“We can’t be together, can we?” The impending sob tightens around my windpipe as I struggle for breath.
“It’s not as simple as that. I made vows, Kitty.” He groans, and I hear him whispering.
I lick my lips. He’s praying. For what though?
Forgiveness or a sign?
No risk. No reward.
“I’m sorry, Daddy, I’ve been a very bad girl,” I whisper, clawing at the barrier between us.
“Kitty—”
“Are you going to spank me again?”
I can almost hear him gulp in the silence.
And there’s no stopping me now. I put my fingers through the metal grating on the confessional box. I pull myself closer.
“I’m not wearing any panties, that has to be a sin.”
“Oh, God…” I hear his heavy breaths from the other side and fuck it. I’m a good girl but I know how to be bad.
I unlatch the door and skitter around to the other side barely giving a glance at the chapel to make sure it’s empty.
I twist the knob on the door where he’s at and swing it open, practically flinging myself inside and closing it behind me.
God, he smells so good. The tiny space is warm, hot even and even in the darkness, his eyes shine with that look that tells me he’s fighting his own demons.
“Kitty, I’m your steward. You’re headmaster. Teacher.” He says as I wiggle my way between his knees and the wall, standing in front of him. “Fuck, you’re fucking breaking me.” His voice cracks as his gaze feasts on me in the confined space.
“I can just stay here with you. Tell my parents I did so well, you offered me a job. A position. I know Hoover will be thrilled I’m not coming back.” There’s a clutch in my belly as I consider my mom might be just as happy to get on with her new life. And, with Baby gone, what is there to go back to?
My friends?
No. A few days away and sober, things get cleared up pretty fast. They aren’t my friends, they were just a place holder and one that has been replaced.
By Father Martin.
