Page 26 of Steeled


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He took the stairs, each flight driving home the reality that he was in a new place. Before their split,homewas someplace they’d shared. Even before they’d graduated high school, shewas always welcome at the Steele residence. Used to it as they were, it felt strange approaching her door with so much uncertainty. He checked twice to make sure he was standing in front of the right door. Then, pocketing his phone, he raised his fist and knocked.

She heard the rap of knuckles against her door and froze where she stood—a knob to another door still in her hand. Evie had just fallen asleep. She’d put up a valent fight against her heavy eyelids as Nora read aloud her third bedtime story, but Nora hadn’t minded. That night, every moment felt precious, every aspect of their routine sacred, and every word murmured between them another layer of glue bonding them together.

It wasn’t the possibility of Evie waking up that made the nerves in her belly clench—it was her fear of who the unexpected guest might have been. When a second round of knocks sounded, she stood up to her nerves and headed down the short hallway of their two-bedroom apartment. One glance through the peephole and the nerves in her belly relaxed in order to make way for a million little butterflies.

Stunned by his presence, it took her a second to finally free the lock and then open the door. “Hi,” she murmured, not at all trying to mask her confusion. “What are you doin’ here?”

“Needed to check on you. Can I come in?”

Startled by his response, she hesitated for a moment and stared at him openly.

“Nora-Jean?”

“Yeah. Sorry. Yes—come in,” she muttered, frowning at herself as she stepped aside.

He took a couple steps over the threshold and stopped. As she closed them inside, she watched him shove his fingertipsinto the front pocket of his jeans, his eyes taking in what he could of her space.

It couldn’t be denied, they lived in an older building. All the appliances and fixtures were out of date, and the walls could use a fresh coat of paint—but Nora had managed to make it her own. Little by little, she’d filled each room with comfortable furniture, aesthetically pleasing décor, and knick-knacks to bring it all together. It wasn’t much, but it was cozy, and she was proud of the home she shared with her daughter.

“Lawson, what are you doin’ here?” she asked again, desperate to break the silence.

“Where’s Evelyn?”

“Asleep. She just went down.”

He nodded, then extracted one of his hands in order to pull his fingers through his hair.

“Earlier, you were pretty upset. I just wanted to see how you were doin’; see where your head was at.”

Nora exhaled as she propped herself against the door, letting her head fall back with a soft thud. “Honestly? I don’t even know.”

“Spoke with Steele. Nash doesn’t have any rights unless he proves paternity.”

“It’s about more than his rights, Lawson,” she began, lifting her head. “I am terrified at even theslightestpossibility that he might break my little girl’s heart. I’ve worked so hard to protect her from the reality that she doesn’t have a father. He doesn’t know anything about being a parent, about our lives, abouther.”

When her eyes welled up with tears, she closed them and pursed her lips in irritation.

“I know what it’s like to have a broken heart. I know what it’s like to be devasted when the world you thought you knew gets ripped out from underneath you.” Ignoring her tears, she opened her eyes once more and pleaded with the closest thingshe had to a friend in that moment. “She’s only four. I can’t let that happen to her. I won’t.”

His gaze locked with hers unwaveringly, Lawson let her words hang in the air for a few seconds. Then, when she said nothing more, he inquired, “You don’t want him to break her heart the way he broke yours?”

Nora laughed, and she knew it was delirium that made her do it. What he said wasn’t funny, it was merely so far from the truth, she couldn’t help but to laugh.

“No. He didn’t break my heart. He didn’t even get the chance. It was in pieces when I met him.”

She dipped her chin as she pushed herself off the door. She couldn’t stand to look into those dark brown eyes any longer—the same eyes of the man who’d been responsible for her shattered heart. Wiping her cheeks dry, she cleared her throat and started to walk around him, certain she wasn’t prepared for any conversation about the two of them.

When he gently caught her arm, she gasped at his touch, her gaze locking in on his hand.

“I shouldn’t have let you go.” He spoke softly, but she felt his words reverberate inside of her chest as if he’d yelled them at the top of his lungs. “Should have come back to you soon as I was state side.”

“Lawson, don’t,” she whimpered, still avoiding his gaze. “It doesn’t matter anymore. It was me who walked away. It was me who put the final nail in the coffin of you and me when I…” She let her sentence trail off, knowing there was no point in finishing it. “It doesn’t matter,” she repeated. “I have Evie now.”

“Don’t do that.” He let go of her arm and reached for her chin, lifting her head until he could see into her eyes. “I knew back then what I’m certain of now. You had your reasons for walkin’, but I let you leave. And when I found out about Evelyn—I knew you were alone, but I was too much of a fuckin’ coward to do anything about it.”

“Stop it,” she whispered, her tears falling for a different reason now. “Please.”

“Who are we kiddin’, huh? Who are we foolin’, Nora-Jean?” he muttered, lowering his forehead until it kissed hers. “I felt it then as much I feel it now—right now. Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me you don’t feel it, too. You’re mine, songbird.”

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