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“Oh, mygod!” she began, shaking her hands in an attempt to expel some of her excitement. “Are you kidding me? Are youkiddingme?Lawson!” Propping herself up on her knees, she reached for her coffee as she insisted, “Tell me everything. I mean—noteverything—but everything leadin’ up to the part I don’t want to hear. Go, go, go, go, go!”
He laughed and shook his head as if to imply he didn’t know where to start. He then pulled his fingers through his hair and started from the beginning. He told her about his current assignment, about seeing Nash on the set in Murfreesboro. He shared as many details as he could remember, assuming correctly Justice would only interrupt him with questions if he didn’t. She was envious he’d gone to their brother about Nash, given it put Atticus in the know sooner than her—but she quickly got over it when Lawson gave her a blank stare,silently reminding her why he’d pulled her from sleep. Upon her insistence, he continued until the gentleman in him brought about the end of story time.
“After that, it just happened,” he concluded.
“Freakin’ finally,” she cried. Grinning, she playfully shoved his shoulder. “I mean, it’s no shock that the first time y’all are alone somewhere it justhappens. We’ve all been waitin’ for it for years.”
“Except this mornin’, she kicked me out first thing. It was like…it was like she didn’t trust it. She called it, ‘whatever this is.’”
“Law,” Justice said softly, her excitement finally leveling off a bit. “Can you blame her? It’s not like y’all got in a fight and it’s been a couple days. It’s beenyears.”
“I know that.”
“Okay, well, you two are different people now. I know you love her. Seein’ as how she’s not been with anyone since he who shall remain nameless, it’s never been a question in my mind that she never stopped lovin’ you either. But she’s not the same woman she was back then. She’s got Evie to think about. Epic as you two once were, you can’t just pick up where you left off.”
“Maybe not, but last night wasn’t a fling.”
“Don’t get snippy with me,” she demanded, her scowl returning. “And don’t go actin’ like you’re entitled to her.”
Her words were like a slap across the face.
“She’s mine, Lady Jay. Always has been, always will be.”
“Romantic as that sounds, that’s her choice to make, not yours. You let her down hard, and you waited more than six years before you were ready to fix it. You want her to trust you, you’ve got to earn it. Deep down you know that.”
Justice was right, and Lawson said nothing in reply.
She took another sip of her coffee, her eyes on him as if watching and waiting for her point to settle. Breaking the silence a minute later, she asked, “So, what’s this favor you want?”
“I want to take her out tonight. Was hopin’ you could babysit Evelyn.”
Grinning, she dipped her head in a nod. “Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about. My night is yours, big bro.” With a sigh, she threw her covers off and carefully made her way out of bed, coffee still in hand. “Well, I’ll never get back to sleep now. Might as well eat. If you’re stayin’ for breakfast, I suggest you take those boots off.”
His smirk pointed at his feet, he replied, “Yes, ma’am.”
Nora stood where Lawson left her, listening intently until she heard the front door latch closed behind him. When she was sure he had gone, her gaze drifted toward the bed and her chest ached as she stared at the culmination of her actions. The man she’d loved to the point of devastation had been in her grasp, and she had just pushed him away. Again. The pain she felt was one she recognized, but one she thought she’d never feel quite so profoundly again. It was an unexpected reaction, but one she couldn’t control.
Turning her back to the bed, she sank down until she was sitting on the edge and then covered her face with both hands as she sealed her eyes closed tight. She couldn’t identify which was her biggest mistake—sleeping with him or kicking him out. In the heat of the moment, being with Lawson felt like it always did when they were together. No one had ever created a safer space for her to let go of every inhibition in order to explore the depths of passion her body could reach. She let go of every worry, every fear, every thought when they were intimate because she could—because their intimacy had always been the height of liberation. But it wasn’t just about the sex, andthat’swhat made her heart hurt the most.
Lawson Steele had been her home for so long. He alone had embodied the safety, the stability, the security and the love of family she was never, ever given from the people who made her. And while so much of the way she mothered Evie was derived from doing the exact opposite of Earlene Perkins, she knew howto be Evie’s safe place to land because when she was fourteen years old the cutest boy she’d ever seen taught her what that looked like.
Nora-Jean had long since accepted the reality in which Lawson would always be the love of her life that she couldn’t have. Lonely as she got sometimes, she considered Evie the most merciful blessing from God. He had given her a child to love with all her heart and soul. Even as the years went by and Nora grew older without a man by her side, it didn’t matter. She could still be happy, knowing she knew what it felt like to love and to be loved.
But the quiet acceptance of her life as it was had been shattered the moment Lawson’s lips had found hers. Now, alone in her bedroom, she felt more confused than ever.
‘Nora, baby, I’m not a stranger, and this won’t be the last time I’ll be wakin’ up in her home.’
Had that been a promise? Would he be back? Could they really move on…together?
It couldn’t be that easy. Nothing in life ever was.
“Mommy?”
Nora gasped, dropping her hands away from her face as she looked across the room. Evie, still dressed in her reindeer printed long johns, made her way toward the bed.
“Mommy, are you sad again?” she asked with a concerned scowl.
The sigh Nora breathed was a testament to how muddled her brain felt. Evie’s question was a reminder that she had more to worry about than Lawson. Only, just then, she didn’t have the capacity to think about Creed. Just then, she needed to compartmentalize.
