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All righty then.Heaping on the nostalgia.It’s almost as if Wells’s ghost were hovering in the hopes of a good old choking.
God, I miss that.Our standoffs. The way we challenged eachother until we were both fervent and unhinged. He was right that time he told me I wanted to be on his leash. I’d never craved anything like that before, but with Wells, handing him complete control was a drug. Because,Jesus, he knew how to wield it. The image has me rapt with a ravenous want.
Fuck, it’s been too long.
My cheeks heat, and a dizziness engulfs me. So, while not due to Ryker’s intensity, I sport a sheepish grin and sit.
Rena levels Ryker with a hostile glower, lifts her thumb to her nose, wiggles her outstretched fingers, and sticks out her tongue before plopping down beside me.
Gasoline on the fire, girl. I get it.
We share dinner, and I dodge her inquisition like an NFL quarterback superstar, fake-outs complete with intrigue regarding her latest rebellion. The rest of the Noire brothers, aside from Axel, filter in and out, casting me flirty smirks and sly winks, causing Ryker to blow a gasket with every gesture. I’d love to say the whole scene offers me a glint of hope, but with every smile and laugh and remembrance, it’s as though the last layers of connection are being peeled away. After this, I’ll be gone. Erased. Reborn to a world I know nothing about.
Alone.
What if my guys don’t fight for me? That field of ashes in Ohio isn’t enough to lay it all to rest. Not the love that binds me to them. I’m adrift between the heavens and the embers. Desperate for that taste of the cloudy haze of languid happy they had me floating on. And yet, if they can’t make sense of what they’ve done to me, then finding me won’t be enough anyway. I’ll burn them all like our abandoned home.
I’d rather have a taste of Heaven though.
Wells’s words wrap around me like the crumpled bedsheets from a morning snuggle when we were more tangled up than a pretzel, his fingers scampering over every inch of my skin, his emeralds full of adoration.“No moment before you was living. You, Little Storm,are my life, the light striking through the darkness, as close to Heaven as I’ll ever get.”
It had to be real for him.
“She’s fine. She’ll come back when she’s ready.” Rena’s warble disintegrates the amber pixels of my memory.
Dandelion dreams.
Blown and scattered and lost to the frigid breeze.
Ryker’s eyes are creased in both humor and fascination, but I rejoin the chatter as though I never drifted away. As it nears my time to go, the air thickens with tension. Rena can’t understand why I won’t give her my plans or contact information. She won’t accept this as goodbye, and it breaks me a little. A rogue tear trickles out before Ryker insists she leave, so with a final hug, she begrudgingly tromps away with a plethora of grumbles that make me smile.
I wonder if this will result in a piercing.
Ryker escorts me to the private exit, insisting he walk me to my vehicle, but I can’t allow that.
“I’m sorry,” I say, “but I need to disappear now. If you see the car, it’ll cause me a whole extra step.”
“That’s fine.” He ignores my reasoning, urging me forward and passing me the black backpack that was slung over his shoulder. When I stare at him in question, he unzips it with a vexed scowl. It’s full of stacks of hundred-dollar bills—has to be a couple hundred thousand.
“I can’t take that. I have money, Ryker.”
“You will,” he demands. “Buy a new car if you want.”
I stop, dead in the middle of the parking lot, shrouded by shadows and secrets with a guy who threatened to kill me a few hours ago. “Why?”
He considers my question—aware it isn’t simply about the money—seemingly turning his words over, his hand scratching his chin. If he didn’t have that aggressive marble edge to him, he’d have a baby face. But something robbed him of his boyish charm,and I suppose I understand that. His icy eyes meet mine with a tender warmth that seems meant for someone distant rather than me.
“Two reasons. That information was priceless, and your request wasn’t. I don’t like outstanding debts.” He swallows a disquieting groan. “I don’t know what I’m missing. You and Wells are mixed up in some fucked-up shit, and for the sake of my family, I’m not going to pry. But, Ivy, I’ve only looked at one girl the way Wells looked at you. Hell, all four of those guys were fierce for you. But Wells …fuck.Leave a window ajar for the guy.”
When I came to see Ryker, it never occurred to me how much he’d be a haunting of my guys.
Tears brim as I search for words, so he tucks me into his chest while I nod and whisper, “It’s cracked. The rest is up to him.”
“Good enough.” He drags me forward until I’m mindlessly marching us toward the car. “Are you armed?”
“Yes.”
“Good girl,” he says, and the pang of torment that shoots through me nearly knocks me to my knees.
