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Chapter Four
Alissa
Lying in Dane’s arms,listening to him talk about us getting our own place, makes me love him even more. It makes me feel loved — something I haven’t had much of in my life.
Being taken from my mother at such a young age, means I don’t even remember her. Bouncing around between foster families my whole life hasn’t let me form lasting bonds. I have fond memories of some of them, but I haven’t ever been treated like I belonged to someone. Like I’m their child. Since the age of five, one truth has resounded in my heart — nobody’s ever truly loved me and probably never would.
So, now I know how to live on my own. It’s something I had to learn. Live without being treated fairly, live without a real family, live without love. And I’ve done it my whole life. It’s been this way for so long, that at first, I don’t even realize what love really feels like. Dane is the first person who’s ever loved me that I can remember, and as good as that feels, I can’t help but feel like I owe him something for his love and kindness. He just keeps giving to me, and I keep taking. That’s something I’ve never had in my life. Nobody has ever willingly given me anything. Every nice gesture given — a place to live, clothes, food — always comes with an expectation of me in return. Until now.
Dane isn’t asking for anything. He hasn’t even asked me to love him back, even though I do. He hasn’t said he loves me, but I know he does by the way he looks at me. It’s the same way men in the movies look at their co-stars. When he looks at me, his dark eyes light up, and the corners of his mouth turn up just a bit. Sometimes, his jaw flexes and his Adam’s apple bobs — this is the look I get just before he leans in to kiss me.
Everything’s different with Dane. Even his kisses are different than those I’ve had in the past. Most guys try and take from me, but Dane just gives. I know he’s considered the troublemaker in town, and his dad doesn’t like the way he lives his life, but I know nobody knows him the way I do.
When I look at him, I don’t see a C student. I don’t see some troublemaker or partier. I just see Dane — the guy who makes my heart pound and my blood rush with excitement.
I’m completely lost in whatever this is we’re doing. I don’t know how to accept something without expectations. So, I keep waiting for him to demand something from me, but he hasn’t. A day will come when he’s done with me and passes me on to the next person in line and because of that, I’m holding a little bit of myself back from him. I have to protect myself.
Before I can get too caught up in thought, the sound of his beating heart against my ear, lulls me into a deep sleep.
* * *
His movementbeneath me stirs me awake. The room is dark except for the soft glow of the moon shining through his open window. The cool night air blows through and cools my overheated body. Then I suddenly realize that I’m out past curfew. Again.
I sit up straight and look around the room for a clock. The red glow on the table beside me confirms my suspicions.
“Do you need me to take you home?”
I jump from bed and tangle my hands in my hair. “Yes. God, I’m going to be in so much trouble.” Sitting back on the edge of the bed, I try to think of a way I can get into the house and into my room without him knowing. I know Pam will be in bed already, but Ed is probably waiting up for me.
“Do you want me to come in and tell him we just fell asleep?”
I begin pacing the room. “No, that’ll just make it worse.”
Stepping in front of me, he places his hands on my shoulders but keeps his distance. “Okay, it’s okay.” He pulls me against his chest, placing a kiss on my forehead. His scent and heat sink into me and calm my nerves. I wrap my arms around his lower back and breathe him in as deeply as I can. My heart is pounding, and I know he can feel it.
Funny thing is, I’m not afraid of being punished by Ed. I’m afraid if I give him too much trouble, he’ll have me placed with another family. A family far away from Dane. “Let’s go.”
* * *
A while later,we’re pulling up to the house. All the lights are off but that doesn’t ease my mind. I lean over and give him a small kiss. “Thank you. I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” I say as I climb out.
I move to close the door, but he calls out my name.
“Yeah?” I bend down just a bit to see him leaning toward me.
“If he hurts you…” His brows furrow together and his jaw flexes, causing the veins in his neck to protrude.
“I’ll be fine.”
His dark eyes are intently watching me. “If anything happens, call me. I’ll come get you.”
I nod before turning away and slowly walking up the front steps. Before I open the door, I turn to see Dane watching me. His jaw is set, and he has these little lines between his eyes from frowning. Seeing the anger, but protectiveness, makes me smile and feel happy that I have him in my life. Finally, someone who cares about me.
Carefully, I close the door behind me, trying not to make a sound. When I turn around to walk up the stairs, Ed is standing directly in front of me. The house is dark, but light shines through the thin lace curtains, making him appear even more menacing. Anger is etched on his face. His brows are drawn together. And he’s holding his black, leather belt in his hand.
I swallow down my fear and remember that someone loves me.
“Where have you been?” The hand holding the belt at his side tightens causing the leather to creak.
