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Chapter Ten
Dane
It’s beenthree days since Alissa left, and it still doesn’t feel real. That may be because I haven’t left the house since then. Or it could be because I’ve done nothing but drink since that night.
I lie on the couch in my boxers and stained up t-shirt, just staring at the ceiling. No music plays. It was at first, but I can’t take it. It seems like every song is written just for me, rubbing it in that I lost the love of my life. When I finally have enough, I throw my shoe at the stereo. It now lays in a busted heap of plastic.
My dad comes over every day since I haven’t been showing up for work. Every day, he finds me in the same spot. There’s a knock on the door, and I don’t bother to move or to call out. It’s probably just my dad anyway.
After a long series of knocking, the door opens, and Sean sticks his head in. “Hey, your dad said I’d have to let myself in. I wasn’t expecting you to be sitting on the couch though. What’s up?”
“Alissa’s gone,” I slur.
“I know. I’m sorry,” he says, sitting in the chair.
“My dad tell you?”
His eyes bounce around from one thing to the next. “Yeah, your dad told me.”
It’s his tell. I sit up. “You’re fucking lying. How did you know?”
“What? I’m not lying.”
“I’ve known you since we were kids. I know when you’re lying.” I put the bottle of Jack down on the coffee table. “It was you, wasn’t it?”
He stands up. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“It was you. You slept with Alissa.” I take a step toward him.
He shakes his head, and a small laugh falls from his lips. “Look, man. I just came here to make sure your ass is getting on that tour bus.”
“Tour bus? I’m not going on fucking tour. Why doesn’t anyone understand that?”
“Yeah, but that was when you were with Alissa. Now that she’s gone…”
“Now that she’s gone, so is everything else. I have nothing left to live for.” I push my hair away from my face. “And you’re the one who took her from me. I told you that you’d regret fucking me over.” I dive for him, tackling him to the floor. He’s beneath me, but I’m so drunk, I can’t get my shit together.
He’s strong, a lot stronger than I ever imagined. I swing and land a weak hit to his mouth. It bleeds on impact. He shoves me off of him. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
I stay on the floor, leaning against the wall. “Alissa said she cheated on me, and that’s why she was leaving. The only person it could’ve been is you!”
He shakes his head and wipes at his busted lip. “Fuck you.”
“So, you admit it?” I stand and hold my arms out at my side.
He shoves me back, and in my drunken state, I go with it. I let myself fall, needing to feel some physical pain to mask the emotional pain. I land hard on the floor, my head spinning from the impact.
“I don’t know why you’re bothering to ask. You already have your mind made up anyway.” He turns to walk out the front door.
“Fuck you, Sean. We’re done. I don’t ever want to see your face again,” I scream from my spot on the floor.
The door slams, and I don’t move. I just lie on the floor, waiting.
Waiting for her to come back.
Waiting to die.
Whichever comes first.
