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The cork burst, and champagne bubbled out. Surprised, Daisy quickly held the bottle over the bucket. She didn’t want to know what the cleaning bill was for a place like this. Her mama’s carpet was permanently stained and bore more than a few cigarette burns. It was vacuumed regularly (because Daisy was the one who did it), but it had never been cleaned.
In fact, nothing had quite made her acknowledge the dinginess of her life the way this room did. She poured some champagne into a glass and sat on the edge of the bed- the large, unused bed. Jimmy had problems, of that there was no doubt. His insecurities were a large part of the reason they hadn’t moved forward. Daisy hated having to consider the fact that the other reason might be because he thought he was too good for her. Just because he’d let Sarah, Hope, and to some extent Tildy into his life didn’t necessarily mean he was interested in Daisy joining their ranks.
There was a knock at the door, and she jumped up, spilling a bit more champagne.
“Damn,” she whispered, and for a moment she couldn’t decide whether to reach for a towel or the door. The door won out as her heart pounded. She twisted the knob and flung it open.
Instead of Easy, Sarah stood outside the door. Daisy could tell by the look on the other woman’s face that she wasn’t the bearer of good news.
“He left,” Sarah told her, and Daisy nodded like she already knew it. And she had, hadn’t she? She’d been sitting here long enough to have figured that out. “Can I come in?”
Daisy stepped back from the door and gestured with the half-empty glass still in her hand. “Sure,” she replied. “Misery loves company.”
“I’m sorry, Daisy.”
Daisy shrugged and took a seat at the table next to the bucket. “Want some?” she offered.
Sarah nodded and slid into the remaining chair.
“Whatever,” said Daisy, though Sarah hadn’t said anything else. “I had a nice time. Got to wear a dress I could never afford to own and sleep in a bed I couldn’t afford to rent. I came out ahead on the deal.”
“He just needs time.”
“I think he’s had plenty of that.”
“Don’t give up,” Sarah pleaded.
Daisy played with the glass stem of her flute. “Maybe I’m not the one giving up,” she replied quietly. “What happened?”
“It was an IED. It killed-”
“Yeah, I got that. Bomb, half the team died, and then discharge. But what happened?”
Sarah was silent so long Daisy thought she wasn’t going to answer. Then she said, “He wanted to die.”
Daisy took another sip and considered this. “So, he comes home and everything’s fucked up and-”
“No,” Sarah told her. “Right then. He wanted to die right then, right when it happened. He knew his leg was gone, and there’d be nothing anyone could do. So he asked Caleb to kill him.”
“Like shoot him in the head?”
“Chris said they’d do it with morphine.”
“Chris said?”
Sarah nodded. “He didn’t mean it, though. He just wanted Jimmy to believe it, because he was so scared and in so much pain. They didn’t do it. They only gave him enough to make him sleep.”
“Why didn’t he do it himself when he came home?”
Sarah shifted uncomfortably in her chair. “He’s Catholic.”
Daisy nodded to herself. “He’s afraid the real Hell might be worse than the one he’s living in now.”
“It’s not Hell!” Sarah insisted. “He has family, people who love him. People who-”
“It’s not about you,” Daisy interrupted. “It’s about him and how it’s got to be ten times harder for a man like him to accept that this is the way it’s going to be.”
Sarah stopped and looked at her. “What do you mean, a man like him?”
“He’s an engineer. He builds things, gets them working again. From what I hear about Burnout, they’re all pretty damn good at it. It’s got to be a special kind of punishment that the one thing he can’t put back together is himself.”
“So… are you done?” Sarah asked, tears brimming in her eyes. Daisy felt like crying, too, not that it would help anything.
“I like him, but I don’t love him, Sarah. How can I? He won’t even let me try. I know he’s important to you. I know you want him to find peace, but I’m afraid I’m just a piece.”
Chapter 28
Easy sighed as his boots crunched the gravel under his feet on the way into the bar. Apparently Sarah was out with Hope today, so there would be no lunch delivery. Shooter and Tex had opted to eat at Maria’s, which they always did when Sarah didn’t feed them. So, it was either go hungry or possibly face Daisy, and he wasn’t certain he was interested in either one.
She was always pushing him, sometimes too far. He found himself wishing she was more like Sarah, or the guys, and would just leave him be. Why couldn’t she ever back off? He had fully expected to fuck her that day after he’d finished mowing the lawn, had showered, and was presentable. He just hadn’t expected her to barge into his place uninvited. She was too much in his face all the time, expecting too much.
