AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Why are you asking me that?” Iris asked. “I’m fine.”
Jost, who was playing with the remaining children in the playroom, left to join the conversation. It had kept Iris entertained enough, watching this behemoth of a man nearly cry from having his hair pulled by infants. Hours prior, he had tucked one of the toddlers in for a nap, reading them a bedtime story.
“You don’t seem fine,” he growled.
“Well, I am,” Iris insisted. “Now, why don’t you install the soundproof padding like I asked, Jost?”
Jost muttered to himself about how his skills were being utterly misused, complaining that the padding was only there to placate Casey’s voice-acting delusion and not as a serious defense.
Was Iris bothered by the thought that she might never see Derek again? Sure.
Did she imagine the various ways in which he might be ripped apart and tortured? Absolutely.
And did she blame herself for all of it and spend every minute of her time trying to distract her thoughts from imaginary grief? Without a doubt.
But she was coping perfectly fine for somebody in her situation, and she would hear nobody say otherwise.
“Okay,” Ava said with a consoling smile before patting Iris on the head in the most unnatural, patronizing way. “Glad to hear it.”
Iris wished that Ava would let her take care of her. If she kept injuring herself for the sake of keeping up pretenses, there would be no way for Ava to defend herself when Cyrus came.
But rather than letting it bother her, she smiled and hummed a quiet song to herself, sticking close to the pack.
Derek will come back fine, she thought, despite overwhelming odds to the contrary.You’re just riling yourself up with these thoughts.
“So,” Ava said, breaking the silence as Iris guided a train around a track to the amusement of the children.
But Iris interrupted her. “I kinda suck at this, Ava,” she admitted.
Ava smirked in confusion. “No, that’s how trains move, Iris,” she said, chuckling. “You’re a pretty excellent co-conductor. Timmy’s having an awesome time.”
Timmy wore a corduroy conductor’s hat, a bright smile on his face.
“Trains!”
Timmy had learned five words, buttrainswas his favorite by far.
“That’s not what I mean,” she said, starting a potentially serious conversation around children. “I mean, I’m bombing this whole ‘keeping the pack safe’ thing.”
“I don’t know how you’d be failing at keeping the pack safe,” Ava replied. “We’re all still alive, aren’t we?”
Iris shook her head.
“But we’ve got no idea where Derek is, and I’ve just been hanging out in here this entire time. It’s not exactly leadership behavior.”
Ava grinned.
“Ah, the ever-confident Luna come to assert her dominance with … pointless doubts?”
Iris was beginning to grow irritated. “I just wish you’d be honest with me so I’d know when I’m failing. Because then I could take that information, and I could learn …”
“You’re fine,” Jost said, still trying to figure out how to apply soundproof padding to the wall without blocking the door. “DearGod. Please, for all of our sakes, have a little more faith in yourself.”
Iris shook her head, now mindlessly pushing the train around the track to Timmy’s amusement. Timmy made train noises, imitating the chug of the steam engine and the sound of the horn.
“I just feel like I’ve been appointed to lead the pack, and I have no idea how I’m going to win everybody’s trust. Maybe you’re both cool with me, and that’s great, but sometimes I feel like …”
“Ignore that feeling,” Ava said decisively. “You’re doing fantastic. Really.”
