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“Wait, how can you like tentacles but not dick?” I walked over and took the cleaning spray from her so I could wipe down my weights.
She snatched it back. “Uh,ladytentacles. Duh.”
“But they’re still phallic! How does that make any sense?”
“It’s not the shape, dumbass. It’s who it’s attached to. Would I fuck a hot sea monster?” Ursula shrugged. “If she had nice tits and a decent personality, probably. But I’d make her buy me dinner first.”
“I see,” I said, grabbing the spray back. “Tentacles are cool, but an actual dick is a bridge too far.”
“Unless it’s attached to a lady,” she said, holding up a finger.
I got what she was saying, but the whole conversation was making my head hurt.
Ursula burst out laughing, and I couldn’t tell if she was laughing at me or with me. “What makes you bring it up?” she asked, going over to lean on the counter.
I finished wiping down the weight before I sat back on the bench with a sigh. “I met someone this weekend.”
She let out an excited gasp and hopped up onto the desk, her legs dangling. “Tell meeverything.”
I rubbed the back of my neck, trying to figure out how to word it. “He’s sweet, but super possessive, and he has some communication difficulties.”
“Like doesn’t talk it out difficulties or doesn’t speak English difficulties?”
“More like…limited vocabulary. He’s learning. That’s not the problem.”
She cringed. “It’s the possessive thing, isn’t it?”
I let my arm drop. “It’s everything. I haven’t really been in a relationship for years. Not since Phoenix.”
“What about that Hotdog guy?” she said with a shrug.
I shook my head. “That was more of a friends with benefits arrangement. This dude is already talking about forever plans, and it’s like… I don’t know if I’m into it.”
“Time out!” She made a T-shape with her hands. “One weekend of wild sex and he’s practically proposing? Damn, boy. What’d you do?” Her eyes widened again. “Tell me he didn’t move in.”
It was my turn to cringe. “Maybe?”
Ursula rolled her eyes. “And they say that’s a lesbian stereotype. Look, Axel. This dude sounds like trouble with a capital T. You gotta put your foot down. Establish some boundaries, like pronto.”
“I tried that!” The words came out as more of a whine than I meant them to. “The problem is, I think he might be dangerous.”
She tilted her head to the side. “Likes to drive over the speed limit dangerous, or in the mob dangerous?”
I sighed again. “Like could potentially kill me dangerous except… I know he doesn’t want to. He just has this other side to him that he can’t control when he gets angry.”
Her face sobered, a dark threat flashing in her brown eyes. “Is he hurting you? Because you just have the say the word, dude, and you’ll have a whole army of pissed off lesbian mommas at your door to end this bitch.”
I waved my hands in front of me. “No, no! Nothing like that. Fuck, how do I explain this? It’s not a domestic violence situation. It’s—”
The door to the gym opened before I could finish and two guys in suits and sunglasses entered. I narrowed my eyes. They definitely did not look like they were there to work out.
Ursula and I exchanged glances as the creepy dudes removed their sunglasses and looked around. “Can I help you gentlemen?” Ursula asked, hopping down from the desk again.
The slightly taller one took the lead, tucking his sunglasses into his suit pocket. “Yes, we’re looking for Axel Rose.”
His eyes slid to me, and I felt a cold shudder of warning slide down my spine. These guys were bad news, and they were here looking for me? I took in their military-style haircuts, the uniform black suits, the way they walked in like they owned the place. Definitely government. Military maybe? Or worse.
Ursula crossed her arms. “Who’s asking?”
