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He shook his head. “Not from these people. They’d find me, Ghost. If they found me out here, they could find me anywhere.Besides, Honor would say I can’t just run away from my problems.” He sighed and fell onto his back, staring up into the sky in silence for a while with his hands folded over his chest. “Do irqed believe in an afterlife?”
“Afterlife?” I crawled out of the water and made a circle in the grass next to him, resting my head on his shoulder.
“Yeah, you know. Like souls and stuff. What happens to them when you die?”
I snorted and rolled over, limbs stretching so I could stare up at the lights in the sky. They were stars. Papa told me about them, but I had never seen them, not until I escaped the base. The first time I saw stars, I was terrified they would fall on me, or that they might be eyes that Papa could watch me through. I spent many days hiding in the dark, away from the stars in fear.
“Souls?” I questioned, staring at the stars.
Axel nodded. “Some humans believe there’s an immortal part of who they are, something that lives on after death. What happens to it is different in every religion, but most people around here seem to think that when good people die, their souls go to a place without pain or sadness. A paradise of perfection.”
That sounded…nice. It was good to think that my ancestors were in such a place. A big, bottomless lake that never ran out of fish and people threw pizza rolls out for them to catch.
Axel turned his head toward me. “Do your people have anything like that?”
There was a sudden pain between my chest and my stomach, one I’d never felt before, anemptinessfor knowledge. Papa and the others had taught me many things about the irqed. We were dangerous, frightening, and ugly. We hadpowersthat could be useful.
But of the irqed ways? Our traditions, culture, and beliefs? I knew nothing of those things. I had hatched in a laboratory pool with only Papa to guide me. The only other irqed I had seen werethe captives they brought in, and they had all begged for death rather than speak to me. I knew nothing of what it meant to be a true irqed.
That was far too complex for me to explain to Axel with words. I wanted to touch him, to show him so he would understand, but the thoughts were painful. I didn’t wish to give him more pain, so I shook my head.
Axel sighed and turned back to the stars. “My mom went to church. She wasn’t real religious. Sinned every day of her life. But she was a good person, and so was my dad. I know they’re gone, but sometimes, I like to look up at the stars and pretend they’re up there looking back, you know?”
I looked back at the stars with a huff. Why would anyone want the dead watching them? That sounded disturbing. Perhaps what he meant was that he missed his mom and dad and thinking of them in that way made the loss more bearable. I could relate to that. Sometimes, in the depths, I liked to pretend there were other irqed swimming around, just out of sight. But when I remembered that wasn’t true, it only made me sadder. Was it like that for him? Was he feeling sad now because his parents were gone?
Except not all his parents were gone. He still had a pop. Honor was back at the cabin, waiting for him. I may not have cared for the small, angry human, but Axel said he was family. It was good he had three parents, and that one was still trying to protect him, even if he was overzealous in his protection.
I touched Axel’s arm. “Cold.”
He sighed and wiped a hand over his face. “Yeah, it is cold out here. I should probably go inside.” He got up slowly and stretched before looking down at me. “You coming?”
I scrambled to get up and happily followed him into the cabin.
Honor and Ziggy were still there, of course, and Honor eyed me with irritation from where he sat at the kitchen table with a bowl of food in front of him.
Ziggy waved in a human greeting as soon as he saw us and placed the carton of leftover pizza from last night on the counter. “Hi, Ghost. Axel. I was just about to reheat some of this pizza. Would you like some?”
I sat down on the floor with a grunt. “No.”
“Don’t bother.” Axel walked over and grabbed a slice, biting into it. “Cold pizza is better, anyway.”
I agreed, although I preferred the frozen pizza rolls. They had a nice crunch, almost like fish bones, but sweeter.
Axel hopped up onto the counter to eat instead of coming to the table. “Pass me a beer out of the fridge, would you?”
“So, how was work?” Honor asked, his tone guarded.
Axel looked away and grunted, opening the beer. “Don’t act interested in my life.”
Honor sighed and pushed his bowl of sweet cereal away. “Listen, Axel. I know you’re pissed at me for leaving, but I can’t go back in time to change it. Even if I could, I wouldn’t have. I thought I was protecting you.”
Axel shot him a hard look. “Funny how the Men in Black show up asking about me right after you. Almost like they followed you into town.”
“Fuck,” Honor said, eyes widening. “When did this happen?”
“At work today. Pair of grade-A assholes in government issue suits walked into the gym and asked for me by name. They were waiting in the parking lot once I got off work, too. That’s why Ursula and me switched vehicles. They followed her home instead and wound up leaving empty-handed, but I don’t think this is going to be the end of it.”
Honor winced. “Afraid not, kid. Listen, a lot’s happened in the last few months. Pissed as you are at me, will you at least listen to what I’ve got to say about you and ESCU?”
