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I spent a little time picking up my bedroom, piling together all the laundry that needed washed while searching for a bath towel that’d pass the sniff test. There was no sign of Ghost when I opened the bedroom door again, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t around. It just meant I couldn’t see him.
“Ghost?” I called, standing in the bedroom doorway.
The air shimmered over in the kitchen and Ghost materialized under the table. He was crammed in there and curled up tight, though he still didn’t fit well. His tail swished across the kitchen floor.
I chuckled and went to lean on the table. “What are you doing down there?”
Instead of answering, he held out his hand like he wanted to show me something.
“Mind if I come down there with you?” I asked.
Ghost nodded and scooted over as much as he could, making just enough room for me.
I slid under the table, leaning against him, and held out my hand. He looked at me and swiftly closed his much larger palm around mine. The rushing sensation of sliding into his mind was a little more bearable the third time around, but that time, he didn’t send me a memory or a rush of images. It was more a feeling.
Small, snug, and warm. Like being under a blanket or squeezed in a hug. He felt safe in smaller spaces, especially places that were covered on many sides like a cave. Inside, the world wasn’t as loud, and his mind felt clearer. He didn’t say as much, not with words, but that didn’t make the communication any less valid.
I let out a shaky breath when he released my hand. “I know what you mean,” I said, drawing my knees up and wrapping my arms around them. “Sometimes, there’s just too much going on. Normal people seem like they can process it all just fine, but my head gets mixed up sometimes too and I just need to be somewhere quiet and familiar so I can think. Not even about any one thing. I just need space to digest what happens, and with Honor and Ziggy here, I didn’t have it.”
Ghost grunted in agreement.
I looked around at the kitchen. There were dishes to do. I really needed to spend a day cleaning in there. The cabinet where I kept my cups was a wreck, and there were cobwebs up in the corners that needed swept down. I couldn’t look around without making a mental to do list that was stressing me the fuck out. How was I supposed to clean house and deal with ESCU?
I should’ve felt safe in there, but I still couldn’t relax. Maybe Ghost was on the right track, though. Maybe we just needed a smaller space with less visual clutter.
“I have an idea,” I said. “You want to beef up your blanket fort?”
He tilted his eyes to one side. “Blanket fort?”
“Wait right here,” I told him excitedly.
I scrambled out from under the table and darted into the bedroom, yanking my blankets off the bed. I grabbed a couple more from the closet before going through the house to collect every pillow I could find, bringing it all back to the table. After quickly wiping down the table, I tossed the biggest blanket over it, making sure it covered the table all the way to the floor on every side. Then I picked up the blanket and crawled underneath, dragging the rest of my supplies with me. Ghost had to get up so I could spread the blankets over the floor and arrange the pillows, but in a matter of minutes, I had a proper blanket fort built for the two of us.
I plopped down against the mismatched couch pillows I’d dragged in there and let out a relieved huff. “Shit, I’m tired.”
Ghost sniffed around and then walked in a circle, stomping out an area, before curling up in it. He let out a happy sigh and snuggled in against his tail.
“Rough day?” I asked.
He made a small, non-committal grunt.
“Know the feeling,” I agreed, stretching out. “But tomorrow’ll be better. I hope. And if it’s not, there’s always the day after.”
Ghost didn’t say anything, but he was still awake. I knew because he was staring right at me. What was he thinking about? It couldn’t have been easy to hear all the stuff we’d just talked about. Finding out Parker was still out in the world had to have him feeling… Well, it couldn’t have feltgood.
Life had thrown a lot of curveballs at Ghost. More than most. I felt sorry for him, even if I knew he probably didn’t want my pity. Pity didn’t change what’d happened to him, and it wouldn’t change the future, but maybe… Maybe I could make him feel good. Teach him that he wasn’t ugly and scary like he thought he was.
Okay, so maybe he was a little scary, but not once you got to know him. Deep down, he wanted the same things anybody wanted: to be loved and appreciated for who he was.
I pushed away from where I was reclining against the pillows to move closer to him. Ghost lifted his head and looked at me curiously.
I reached out, letting my hand hover over his shimmering black skin, and looked at him in question. “Can I touch you Ghost? I promise I’ll be gentle, and we’ll stop if you get uncomfortable.”
He let out a soft snort and scooted closer, rolling slightly to one side to leave his chest exposed.
I ran my fingers lightly over his leathery body. It was softer over his underside, and though he wasn’t warm, touching him was no less comforting. In fact, it was nice to have something cool in the stifling still air of our little blanket fort. All I wanted to do was strip down and lie against him. Even if it didn’t lead to anything sexual, it’d be nice to feel all of him against all of me, though it almost undoubtedly would.
Every time I touched him, it sent little zings of pleasure racing over my nerve endings, and suddenly all I could think about was last night, having him inside me, making him feel good. Would he be open to that? I wasn’t very good at comforting people, but sex made most people feel good, right? And Ghost was a person, even if he didn’t look or act like me.
