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They were the first people to really get me. It was chance that we’d even met at all. I’d actually hooked up with Chris’s old roommate, Rudy. He’d introduced me to Chris, who was going through a hell of a time with his PTSD. I sold him some weed, and we bonded over getting high. Then he introduced me to all his army buddies, and that was that. We were fast friends. None of them ever cared about my weird habits or my need to disappear for days at a time, and they’d all respected my rules about not having phones at the cabin…for the most part. I’d gotten lax on that over the years, for obvious reasons.
But I’d never told any of them what I really was. Not even Robert, and we’d been sleeping together. The truth about me was still a closely guarded secret. They hadn’t even needed an explanation when Honor called them. They just showed up because he said I needed them.
That was what family did, and these guys were my family. We may not have shared blood, or even been the same species, but they were my brothers. I owed them the truth.
The back door suddenly swung open. I turned and found myself looking up at Ziggy.
“Oh, hey,” he said. “That’s where you went. We were wondering.” He opened the big trash can to deposit the garbage.
“I was trying to talk Ghost into coming back inside.”
“He’ll come around in his own time,” Ziggy said.
We stood there awkwardly with each other. I didn’t know what to say to him. I wasn’t lying when I told Honor I wasn’t mad about him moving on. How could I be? He deserved to be happy,just like anyone else. It didn’t feel like a betrayal, either. Mom and Dad would’ve wanted Honor to be happy, too. That’s the kind of people they were. Not a selfish bone in their bodies.
But I didn’t know Ziggy, and I didn’t know how to interact with him. What was he to me? Was I supposed to treat him like another authority figure? Marrying my pop didn’t make him my parent. A friend? That didn’t seem right. It’d be like being friends with your aunt. There’d always be a weird sort of power imbalance there we’d never quite get past. Did he want me to act like I was his kid? I wasn’t. I’d never be, and yet he’d married my pop so, in a weird way, I was, wasn’t I?
“This is awkward,” Ziggy acknowledged eventually, gesturing between us. “This whole thing. Isn’t it?”
I hugged myself and shrugged. “A little.”
“A lot,” he corrected. “At least for me.”
I let out a heavy breath, forcing my shoulders to relax. “Okay, yeah. It’s really fucking awkward.”
He glanced at the back door as if he were considering a retreat. I wouldn’t blame him if he ducked away. I didn’t want to have this conversation either, but it was inevitable. It had to happen sometime. At least if we talked now, no one else would be listening in.
Ziggy took a deep breath and stepped away from the back door toward me. “Just in case it wasn’t clear before, I don’t expect to be treated like… Well, I’m not your parent. I understand that just because I married your pop doesn’t put me in that position.”
“I guess I appreciate that,” I said.
“You’re an adult, even if sometimes Honor forgets that. It’s hard for him. He still thinks of you as a child that needs to be protected, and… He’s the protective sort.”
“I’m not a kid,” I said firmly.
“I know that. He knows that. But it’s difficult for him to let go of things. He’s…stubborn.”
I snorted. “That’s the understatement of the year.”
Ziggy chuckled. “Oh, you have no idea how stubborn he can be.”
“Me? I had to grow up with him. You know, he pretended Santa was real until I was eleven?” I couldn’t help but smile and shake my head. “I knew it was him. Even when I told him I knew, he acted like it wasn’t him. Argued with me about it. The bastard grounded me for two days for saying he was a liar when he told me Santa was real.”
Ziggy laughed again and nodded. “That’s Honor for you.”
“He also totally didn’t stick to his guns and ungrounded me about an hour later. Or rather, he acted like he completely forgot about the grounding and let me go out to ride my bike anyway.” I sighed and shrugged. “So yeah, I know how he is. And yeah, I’m giving him a hard time about leaving, but I also get it. I know he thought he was doing the right thing. Maybe there was no right thing though, you know? I get that too. Adulting is hard shit. I can’t imagine how hard it is to be a parent. I don’t really want that level of responsibility.”
“I don’t either, if I’m being honest.” He dusted his big paws over his hips. “You want to come inside? I know the pasties are gone, but Charlie and I were just about to finish making the tacos he was working on earlier.”
“In a minute, maybe.” I gestured back toward the lake. “I’m going to wait a few minutes for Ghost. Just in case he changes his mind. Honor’s not the only stubborn guy I know.”
“Okay. I’ll save some for you.” Ziggy waved and ducked back through the door.
It wasn’t much of a conversation, but every relationship had to start somewhere, and we’d gotten the most awkward part of things out of the way. Maybe we’d be friends after all.
Almost as soon as Ziggy was gone, footsteps scraped through the dirt behind me and I felt Ghost’s heavy breaths on the top of my head.
I smiled. “I knew you’d change your mind,” I said, looking up at him. “Ready to give the guys another chance?”
