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I didn’t remember falling asleep, but enough time had passed that the house was quiet except for the generator running out back and the occasional creaking of the settling wood. As I listened, however, I couldn’t hear Axel’s breathing. Perhaps there were just too many other people in the house.
I untangled myself from the rug I’d fallen asleep on and carefully crept out of the living room. Phasing through the wall, I checked the bedroom, but it was empty. There weren’t even any signs Axel had been in there. I didn’t start to worry until Ichecked the bathroom and found that empty, too. There was no sign of him anywhere in the house.
Maybe he’s outside. My heart thumped noisily in my chest as I phased through the front door instead of the wall. I’d learned there were no wires in the doors or windows, which made them safe to pass through. The walls, however, were another story. If I ran into the wires hidden in the walls, it’d send a painful jolt of electricity through me, just like when…
No, don’t think about Papa and his punishments. I pushed the thought away and went to all fours on the porch, sniffing around for any lingering scent of Axel. The only problem was he spent a lot of time out on the porch, so his scent was everywhere. Every whiff I could find was faded, though. Even flicking my tongue out to taste the air didn’t give me a fresh scent to track him by.
I snorted to clear the scent from my nose and scurried down the stairs to circle the house. He was nowhere, even if his scent was everywhere.
No, no, no, no!I galloped around the house in a wider circle, panic rising in my throat.Axel wouldn’t leave. Not without saying goodbye.
And then I froze halfway between the house and the lake, an awful thought in my head. What if he had been saying goodbye? What if that was why he’d brought all his friends together and spent so much time with me? What if Axel was leaving me?
I cleaved my claws through the dirt and let out a furious growl. No. He wouldn’t. He couldn’t. Axel was mine. It didn’t matter if he ran to the end of the world and into another. I would find him. I would protect him. That was my purpose. Even if he didn’t fully accept our bond, it was the only thing I knew, the reason I had survived all this time. Axel made my life worth living, despite all the pain and the horrible memories. I needed him, and he needed me. Without me, who would he make blanket forts for? Who would help him eat his pizza rolls? Who wouldhold his hand and curl up with him when he was feeling sad and lonely?
We belonged together, me and Axel. He had to see that! And if he didn’t, I’d make him see.
I took off, loping through the clearing with no idea where I was going. I only knew that I had to find him, had to stop him, had to hold him. The rich scent of pine trees and musty ground filled my nose as I ran into the forest. Trees passed on either side of me, little woodland animals scurrying up them to avoid the predator on the prowl. To avoid me. There was no time to talk to the skittering squirrels today, no way to ask them if they had seen Axel. I wished there was, but I was too furious. If they came near, I might hurt them.
Stay away, little squirrels. Run home, bunnies and fly high night birds. My claws are sharp and twitchy tonight. Beneath that thought was the constant pounding of my greatest fear, throbbing in my mind like a headache.Gone, gone, gone. Axel is gone…Must find him. Must protect. Must find.
But I didn’t even know where to look. Axel could have gotten into a car. He could’ve gone far away while I was sleeping, miles and miles and miles. Too far for me to track him without help.
Help, yes. The others will help. Humans had machines for tracking, and the t’chl were excellent trackers, famous for being able to pick up even the faintest of trails. They would help me find Axel.
Just as I was about to turn back and get the others, I caught it. The faint, warm leaves in sunshine scent of my mate on the wind. My head perked up, and I dug my claws into the nearest tree, shimmying up the rustling branches to get a better look at the area. When I didn’t spot him, I swung to the next branch and the next, following his scent to a small clearing in the trees. As I moved away from that clearing, the scent became fainter so I went back, but Axel was not there.
I circled the area, mapping out the space where his scent was strongest, before dropping to the forest floor. There was no sign of Axel, but he had most certainly been there. When I went digging around the area for more clues, I uncovered a small black square of plastic. I’d seen Axel with that before. He called it a phone. It didn’t light up like usual when I pushed the buttons on the side, but maybe that was because the glass was cracked on the front. It seemed broken.
Axel wouldn’t leave without his phone. He took it, his keys, and his wallet every time he left the house. Why was it there? Why was it broken?
I put my face to the ground and sniffed before recoiling with a whine. There, beneath Axel’s scent, was another familiar odor, one I had hoped never to be near again.
Papa. Papa had been here.Recently.
Axel and Papa had both been there, which meant…
Oh. Oh no.
I circled the clearing and hopped back and forth with a few distressed whines, trying to decide what to do. What if Axel hadn’t left by choice? What if Papa had taken him? What if Papa was doing bad things to him, hurting him like he hurt me? A growl escaped, rumbling like thunder through the trees. Birds scattered into the air to escape the sound.
I’ll kill him. I’ll tear off his head! I’ll…I trailed off, suddenly feeling guilty.
He was my Papa. He raised me. I couldn’t forget that. Yes, he’d done such awful things to me at the end, and sometimes before that, but it wasn’t all bad. I thought of the moments where I pleased him by completing a puzzle and he’d smile. Sometimes, he brought me ice cream. We went on walks through the laboratory, and he told me stories about the world outside. Once or twice, he even read me a bedtime story. Papa taught me to hug, and to speak, and all about the world.
And then he hurt me. He abandoned me. Now, he had my mate and might be hurting him, too.
Whatever good times we’d had, whatever good he’d done for me, the evil overshadowed it. He’d taken what belonged to me. I was going to get it back, and I was going to kill Papa for touching Axel and trying to take him away from me.
But first, I needed help.
I left the clearing behind, galloping on all fours as fast as I could back to the house. When I reached the house, I paused. Who should I tell? I still had trouble communicating with people, especially without Axel, and I didn’t want to open my mind to just anyone. It had to be someone I trusted, someone who would understand what I was trying to say, someone who would understand what we were up against.
Instead of going to the house, I went to Honor’s van and tapped on the door with my claws. “Hon-nor. Zigzug…” I called out their names a few times, tapping harder.
After a short while, the side of the van slid away and Honor appeared in a worn white bathrobe and a thin pair of shorts. His eyes were red and his hair a mess. It was also the first time I’d seen him without his eyepatch, revealing the deep scar across one eye. “What the fuck, Ghost?”
I uncurled my claws, holding out Axel’s broken phone. “Ack-sul…gone.”
