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“Con, those books? I read the first one. Great choice! I may need another list off you because my friend had already read everything you recommended. That cool?”
“Absolutely.” I grinned.
“Also, Mum needs gossip.”
“I know. She keeps telling me. If I don’t spill the oolong or whatever, she’ll put washing-up liquid in my omelette.”
“You need to stop ordering omelette. With extra egg. It’s an insult to my mother’s skills.”
“It’s really hard to make a good omelette. Your mum knows this. She does make an extraordinary omelette.” I didn’t mean that in a bad way.
“Conny, please tell me that isn’t what you order!” Matt’s jaw hung slack in horror.
“I like an omelette! Simple and tasty. But the portion size is ridiculous. Hence the extra egg.”
“We thank you for your feedback,” Wei said flatly. “You don’t even let Mum put spring onions in it. Seriously. I added four bags of chilli sauce. I mean. Come on!”
“Just because I like plain food, doesn’t mean I don’t like good food.”
“Of course my mum’s food is good, even the bland crap you order. At least Matt orders something decent.”
“Do you insult all your customers like this?”
Matt was laughing and shaking his head.
“Of course! People would be disappointed if I didn’t deliver their food with a good dose of abuse. I’m known for it.” He flicked his hair back and zipped up his bag. “Anyway, Mum will be very pleased to know that I found Matt, half dressed, with my favourite famous customer. And that fancy shirt hanging behind you looks awfully familiar…”
“Wei,” Matt warned, but there was no need. I was laughing because this? This was the kind of shit Icoulddeal with.
“You want it?” I asked. “It’s, like, super famous. Been in seen on all the major entertainment sites this morning, attached to some idiot who deserves all the washing-up liquid in his omelette.”
“It’s Gucci. You can’t just give it away.”
“Take it. Seriously. Your mum can use it as a tea towel or something.”
Bingo. Now Wei was laughing.
I grabbed the damn shirt off the hanger and held it out to him. “Only used once. As seen in…what was it?”
“Walk of Shame of the Week. But will it get me laid?”
“A hundred percent…not. It’s a vile shirt. Itchy as anything. But it will make a good rag to wash windows with if that would work for you?”
“I’m going to treasure it. Wear it with pride.” Wei shoved the shirt in his jacket pocket. It made me smile. “Dude, you have good taste in books. Just next time, please let me put some spring onions in your dish? A dash of chilli sauce, garlic mushrooms—”
“Bye Wei.”
He grinned and waved as I closed the door in his face.
“I hated that shirt,” Matt said.
“Not as much as I hated it.”
The bag of food hit the floor as I ripped the T-shirt over his head and launched at his mouth.
Because I could. Because he was right there, and the food?
Fuck the food.
