AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He wasn’t, and neither was Zara, who was surprisingly unfazed at the state of my bum.
I kept my mouth shut but couldn’t stop smiling because Peter was right. Matt made me happy, and it was stupid how much I wanted to throw my hands in the air and declare I’d quit so I could go home, drag him into bed and forget that there was a life outside those four walls.
I liked Matt naked. I liked me naked with Matt, in Matt’s flat, and that made my stomach hurt. I’d left this morning taking an overnight bag with me because I was going home to see Mum. Matt had agreed it would be good for me. Give some space to breathe, re-group. I’d be back Sunday night, back in Matt’s bed, and things would be OK.
But right now, I wasn’t OK. My stomach was all weird, and I couldn’t concentrate. Whenever I tried to relax, I was just sitting around with an idiotic smile on my face, and then people would ask questions about why I was especially smiley today.
Fuck.
And here was Toby, thank God. It was a relief to have him back because I didn’t think I could handle any more drama today. He gave me a brisk hug as he came into the hair and make-up trailer.
“You all right, mate?” He grinned, and who could blame him when I was naked apart from a glued-on sock covering my bits?
“Yeah, all good,” I replied as he ripped off his shirt. We had no shame, the two of us. In a second, he’d be stark naked and wearing a matching sock.
Returning to my trailer, I crammed in another croissant and read four chapters of my book. Brushed my teeth. Stretched my muscles. Sat on my own like a loser. Stared at my phone.
I desperately wanted to ring Matt, but he was probably still asleep. Just hearing his voice would have calmed me down. I didn’t know why he made me feel this way. Without him nearby, my body was full of butterflies, and I was antsy.
I pulled up his number and realised I’d never actually texted him. I had his number but couldn’t remember having given him mine. I probably hadn’t since I was the idiot of the century. We’d chatted over Instagram loads of times, but that was how you interacted with strangers, not people who meant something.
I didn’t even know what was going on in my head, as the wardrobe dude turned up with today’s ready-and-prepared Cass Powell suit with Velcro instead of buttons and zips for easy removal. Next came Sally, the intimacy coordinator, looking all motherly and concerned, offering me lip salve and gum and asking how I was feeling.
It made me laugh because what the hell was I supposed to feel?
And then I was walking over to the set with Sally nattering on next to me, and I waved to Aisha as she flurried past and then…here was Toby again.
I stared. Of course, I did. Dressed in an open shirt and smart trousers—Cass Powell was about to catch him raiding a crime scene—Toby’s chest glistened with sprayed-on fake sweat, as did mine, no doubt, under my Velcro-fastened shirt. Zara bounced around me with a brush in her hand, adding the finishing touches.
I could do these kinds of scenes in my sleep. Honestly. I had no idea why I was nervous.
“You OK?” Toby asked quietly, gently resting his hand on my shoulder.
Now the thing was, we had an intimacy coordinator here for a reason. She was the one who was supposed to notice these things, but Sally was on her phone.
“I don’t know,” I mumbled. I honestly didn’t.
“Don’t say you’re coming down with something because that bug I caught the other week was bloody nasty. Wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Thought I was going to pass out on the Tube going home.”
“I had it too.”
“Do you need to go over this again or are we good to go?”
Like me, Toby was a pro. We could probably pull this one off in one solid shoot and go home. Job done.
“Nah. All good,” I lied. This was not me. I never got like this.
We got into position, and I shrugged my shoulders, tried to get my head into the zone.
“Silence!”
Fuck.
“And Action!”
Toby’s lines rolled off his tongue with just the right amount of venom. I snarled mine out in return, hoping I could keep my chill long enough to get through this.
We served insults as per the script, and then Toby went for me, crowded me up against the wall, spitting words into my mouth. Then he kissed me, and I froze up.
