Page 78 of White Noise


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God help me. He looked terrified.

“I’m not going to hurt you, Conny.” I sat up again and dragged him up too. We were better like this, when there weren’t so many expectations and we kind of switched off the foreplay for a bit.

“You don’t have to agree to anything. If it’s all too much, I’ll be more than happy to give you a blow job. End off. Not even that. We can just lie here. I’m more than—”

“Shut up, Matt.”

He didn’t say it in a mean way because he was laughing at me and then he was kissing me and rolling on top of me, and I pushed him over and rolled on top of him, and honestly, we were both kids and shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near lube.

“Just do it. No condom. I hate condoms. They smell bad and have that horrible slime all over them, and you said you were tested and all that? I get tested on set before every intimate scene. It’s standard practice. We’re all good…aren’t we?”

“We are.” I stared at him. Stroked my fingers over his skin.

We were good. Totally good. Everything in my life was as long as he was here with me.

“You’re not going away again. Is that right?”

“Not for a few months,” he confirmed. “Well, I’m doing Pride tomorrow, and—”

“So am I. We’ll be on different floats and in different zones, but we’ll both be there. And then afterwards…”

“We’ll be together. Maybe go for a drink? Do normal things that people do when they have a day up in London.”

“I want to go for a drink. And have food. I’d really like to do all that.”

“OK. Let’s do it.”

“The drinks or the penetrative sex bit?”

He laughed at that.

“God, you’re such a nerd. Which is why I love you so, so much.”

“And you’re an idiot. Which is why I love you right back.”

I loved that we were like this. Just us with no stress and so much laughter. And then less laughter as I got the lube out and smeared it all over my fingers.

“I’m going to touch you…and make you feel all good. Is that OK?”

He went a little pale but spread his legs.

“How do you want me?”

“Just like this. On your side. Knees up.”

“Feels weird.”

“Yeah, but it’s comfortable for you, and easy. And I promise I’ll take it really slow.”

He didn’t reply to that because I let my fingers reassure him, easing them right between the gorgeous globes of his arse and lightly moving them up and down over that little opening that…

Con Telford was waxed. Smooth. Not a hair anywhere. Which I kind of hadn’t expected, though I’m not sure why, and I almost said something but didn’t. I carried on playing, pushing gently and pressing kisses on his hip as he panted.

“All good?” I asked.

“Awesome.”

He made me laugh, but his breath hitched as my thumb put pressure on his hole. I eased off, only to push again.

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