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I took a big showy bite because I was a prickly idiot, and he knew it.
“So, do you want the good news or the bad news?” He sat on the chair next to my bed and took a sip of his tea. He was clean shaven for once, his freckles on full show. He had good lips. I hadn’t noticed before. Small wrinkles around his eyes. Needed a haircut. Benjamin Desjardins apparently always needed a haircut. He smiled and I smiled back.
“Can things get worse?” I asked.
He laughed. “Nope.”
“I don’t remember much,” I admitted.
“Okay, well, before you shout at me, I didn’t tell anyone anything. You pretty much spilled everything to the lady at the domestic abuse charity.”
Oh God.
“Do you remember talking to the police officer?”
I didwhat? I drank half of the tea in sheer panic.
“Don’t worry, I have no idea what was said, more than that Mabel told me that you were a bloody trooper. They also said that you and I need to sit down and go through some checklist. There are things you need to do to safeguard your assets, and the police still have your phone.”
“Fuck,” I hissed out. I was a man of very few words, luckily, as Benjamin Desjardins never stopped bloody talking.
“So, we have a list of things to go through later, and then the police liaison officer or something is coming to speak to you again, and Finn will be coming in later, because I have to go to work. We’ve made a rota. Sarj will sit with you tomorrow—you know the guy from work? Big tall bloke with glasses?”
I knew Sarj. Fuck. I thought about fake-yawning and pretending I’d gone back to sleep, but he was already shuffling his chair closer. And smiling at me.
“We didn’t know who else to call. Finn hasn’t got anyone down as your next of kin, and we didn’t want to accidentally call…someone who shouldn’t be called.”
“Like he who must not be named?” I said. It wasn’t funny. But Benjamin still laughed. “His name is Lewis,” I said sharply. I wasn’t having this. “We’ve been together since school, and no, this isn’t the first time, and yes, it will probably happen again. Because it always does.”
“It willneverhappen again,” he said. Well, it was more of a growl. Then he leant even further forward, stared at me with his eyebrows tightly knit. “I won’t let it.”
Ben
“Can we promise each other something?” I asked. I was flustered, but I was on a roll, and I knew what I wanted to say. I just needed to find the words for it. “Can we promise that we’ll always do this kind of straight talking? No bullshit. Your ex is Lewis and he beat the shit out of you, and that is not happening again. You are not going back. Over my dead body.”
“You…” he started.
I grabbed his tea and held it up to him, but since I wasn’t concentrating, I missed his mouth and spilled most of it down his hospital gown. Damned hand-eye coordination. Not that it seemed to bother him. I grabbed a napkin off the side and tried to wipe his mouth, missing again and dabbing at his cheekbone. FML.
“You want him to kill you? Fine. Death wishes are something we can work with, but those kinds of excuses won’t cut it with this agreement.”
“So this is an agreement?” He snatched the napkin out of my grip and clumsily wiped himself down. “What bloody agreement?”
“Well…” I had to stop and try to compose myself. What the hell was I on about? “I’ll write you a bloody contract if you want. It’ll take some time since I’m dyslexic and my brain is half broken.”
“A contract of what, exactly?” He looked scared, and it made me even more flustered.
“Well…I…” I was stumbling over my words, swallowing spit like it was fine wine, but hey-ho. I’d started this, I might as well finish it. Even though this wasnothow you made friends. This wasnotbeing a supportive human being. I was being weird again.
“Mark and me.” I had to cough.Find the right word, Benjamin. Hugo would be laughing in my face any minute. Reporting me for harassment.
“Everyone thinks you’re in some kind of poly relationship and shagging like rabbits. No prejudice here, but are you?”
“Shut up,” I said. He shut up. Okay. I took a deep breath, sat myself back down, drank some tea. “I’m talking.”
“I’m listening.” Snarky little shit. Although he was giggling too. I liked this Hugo, the one spilling truths faster than I could spill tea all over him.
“We’re friends, Mark and me. He’s been my best mate since college, and there’s nothing in this world he doesn’t know about me. Which is the point I’m trying to make here. People who love one another don’t do this kind of shit to each other. It doesn’t matter if you are just mates or partners or shagging like rabbits, and that is what should be at the very start of this agreement. We’re mates. We don’t let other people beat us to a pulp. Is that clear?”
