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I didn’t know what I wanted. Had I been on my own, I’d have just bought some water. I had an ample supply of cereal bars and fully stacked convenience shops all around me. But I also knew it would send me straight back into my old routines. I couldn’t survive on water and cereal bars. I wasn’t allowed to. I needed proper meals, three times a day, with cereal bars in between. Fresh fruit. Apples. I had, strangely, started to like apples.
“Can we just get a cup of tea?” I suggested. I was nervous, and this was uncomfortable. I shouldn’t have caffeine, but I wanted to start breaking that stupid rule.
“Absolutely!” They smiled. “I know just the place. Perfect cup of tea.” With that, they dragged me out of the station, not even asking or telling me where we were going. But walk we did, Mabel chatting complete nonsense and pointing out places—the “most fabulous drag bar,” and some backstreet theatre where “that dish Connor Telford is appearing stark naked five nights a week.”
“I have no idea who that is,” I managed to get out.
Mabel just laughed and steered me to a greasy spoon café where a surly waitress threw a menu at the table and walked away.
“Don’t mind Mona.” Mabel grinned, picking up the menu. “Her customer service skills may be lacking, but she does make the perfect brew and whatever you fancy eating, she will get it for you.”
“Lies,” this Mona said and placed two cups of tea in front of us. “You can order off the menu. I’m not in the mood.”
I grimaced, but Mabel seemed to take it in their stride.
“This is where Mark and I used to come for our hangover cures. They’re open twenty-four seven, so don’t hate on Mona. I think she last had a full night’s sleep sometime in the seventies.”
“Blimey,” was all I could huff out as I pretended I was reading the menu.
“Hugo?”
“Yeah?”
“I know this is weird as anything…”
I wanted to reply, but I couldn’t.
“I know you’ve not called anyone or set up anything yet, but we’re still here. Annabelle and the charity team will organise things for you as you need them. I’m going to programme all the numbers into your phone, and then we take it as it comes. There’s no stress, but I highly recommend going to one of our support groups. I still go.”
“Why?” Maybe I should learn to shut up, but I’d actually thought it through for once because Mabel didn’t know me, and I certainly didn’t know them.
“Can I tell you a little story?” They shuffled in their seat, and took a sip of tea. I took one too. Perfect.
“Why do they serve it with the milk already in?” I had to ask because high-end hotels like ours never did. Nor did the local Costa. Or the trusty eating disorder clinic.
“Because that’s what they do here,” they said mildly. “Don’t change the subject. I have things to say, and you need to listen.”
“Okay.” I hated being told what to do.
“Many years ago, I was someone else. Someone with a massive ego and all the confidence of youth. I went and got stupid-married to the hottest bloke I’d ever met. I was just a kid and he was too, and we had no idea how to live together. I made mistakes, he made mistakes, and after a particularly bad mistake on both our parts…there was violence. Really bad violence.”
“Oh,” I said. The pang of guilt in my stomach was not comfortable.
“I’ve been exactly where you’ve been, and I tried so hard to fix it. I took the blame. I blamed others. I hated myself. I hated my life and everyone in it. Most of all, I hated him, which was a good thing to do. It was something to channel all that hate into.”
“I get that,” I whispered.
Ireallydidn’t want to talk aboutthis.
“I’m not asking you to share anything you don’t want to share,” Mabel said, perceptive as ever. “I’m not even asking you to talk about it, but if I can give you some advice?”
“I hate advice.” At least I was being honest, and they laughed out loud. Mona came and threw two plates on the table.
“We didn’t even order!” I muttered, horrified.
“Nope.” Mabel picked out a fork from one of the napkins that had also been thrown down on the table, inspected it and then twirled it between their fingers.
“That’s the thing here. Mona will take one look at you and decide what you’re eating. She’s from some old stock psychic family, and she’ll know what you need.”
