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But I didn’t want to think about him, not when my body shivered even saying his name in my head.
He’d been the love of my life. I’d known him at school where, suddenly, he’d paid me an awful lot of attention only to swiftly dump me. Then we’d patched things up and then he’d dumped me again, and when I finally moved to London to get away from everything, he’d followed me here and we’d moved in together under the guise of being roommates.
Fucking roommates. We’d shagged constantly. Well. He’d shagged me. Lewis didn’t suck dick or bottom. Lewis didn’t do a lot of things I had to do. Like pay the rent. In his defence, he paid some of the bills—the insurance, for instance, and he paid for his fancy car. I had no idea how much the rest of it cost, but I sure as hell didn’t use more hot water than I needed to clean myself up or eat more than the occasional crumb from the fridge. I didn’t even have the password for the Wi-Fi since he claimed it was for his work-from-home account only. I paid my own mobile contract. Paid my way.
The flat was far too expensive for us. Too full of fancy furniture that Lewis’s parents had bought him and a glass balcony with views over the modern landscape of Canary Wharf. Lewis could’ve walked to work if he ever bothered going into the office, while I sometimes spent half an hour on the Tube or bus to get to the hotel.
I felt awful for complaining when other humans didn’t even have a roof over their heads, and I had been happy at one point. I mean, who wasn’t happy to be in a relationship? To have someone to hold you at night, kisses on demand, love, support. Sex. Ugh.
My clammy fingers found a boiled sweet at the bottom of my bag; I unwrapped it and sucked on it like a fool. A little bit of sugar would get me home so I could sleep this brain fog away. I was used to it. I’d had it worse. This was manageable.
I almost fell asleep on the Tube and was so weak and shaky I struggled to get my key in the lock. It wasn’t just the lack of energy; I could hear music, which was never a good sign.
“Hey!” Lewis sounded unusually cheery, which meant he had company. I didn’t want company. I didn’t want the music pumping through the air. I wanted silence and cool pillows and for my heart to stop racing long enough that I could think.
“Hi,” I said quietly.
“Come say hello then! Don’t be an antisocial tosser. People will think I’m with some numpty who doesn’t even exist.”
Cue laughter. I’d met these guys before. Two of them. Muscular. Tattoos. Not Lewis’s usual type, being a banking associate or financial associate or whatever fancy job title was printed on his office door if he had one. Who needed an office when they could work flexible hours and be home drinking beer and eating pizza on a Tuesday afternoon, entertaining the idiots he usually met up with for nights out? Idiots who were laughing at the football match showing on TV.
And staring at me.
“We’re off clubbing later. Taz has a mate on the door.”
Okay. Fine. Lewis sometimes went out. Clubbing, gambling, drinking—
“So this is still the boyfriend?” One of them smiled, giving me a once-over. “He’s a skinny little thing.”
The other one laughed, making Lewis smirk.
“He’s cheap to run.”
Oh, so this was one ofthosedays. A make-fun-of-Hugo-day.
“Doesn’t eat much and does as he’s told.”
Like pretty much every day.
Laughter.
I wasn’t laughing.
“Works some dead-end job in a hotel.”
“Can you get us a discount then, mate?”
“Eh, Lew, we could have a suite on your boyfriend here. Have a right party!”
No, they couldn’t. And even if I could swing a discount, I’d be keeping that little perk to myself.
“Have some pizza. Come on, Hugo.”
Lewis didn’t want me to have some pizza. He was just being mean, trying to show me up. Again.
“Thank you.” If I didn’t reply, he’d get nasty. He was already annoyed with me, I could tell. His eyes were dark, and his mouth was stuck in a nasty smile.
“Taz and Dave and I have booked a trip to Turkey. Thought I’d finally get my teeth fixed.”
