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Ben
Going to work was like coming home, and coming home felt like hard work.
It wasn’t, not really. I was just nervous, and it was a relief going over to Mark’s, which I did after work because I needed to. I needed to think. Be on my own. Have himsort my head out.
He was in, of course he was, and gave me one of those hugs that went on forever, where we danced around the hallway while he laughed and I smacked a kiss on his hair.
“You okay?” he asked, gripping my arms and shaking me around like he was making sure it was really me and not some impostor.
“Yeah. A bit stressed.”
He took my hands and inspected them, like he always did. Our little routine still being intact made me happy. Like we were still…us.
“How’s Hugo?”
“Hard work, but that’s not his fault. He’s a bit of a mess.”
“Yeah. I can see that.”
“And how are you?”
“I don’t know.”
That was the truth, and he just grabbed my sleeve and dragged me into the kitchen. The sofa was still there, and I plonked myself down as he poured us a glass of red wine each.
“We need to sort the schedule again,” he said. “One of us should always be at work. More often than not we’re both off together.”
“Or working.”
“Yeah.”
“And Mabel is taking on too much again.”
“They only schedule us like this because they can. I trust them.”
“I trust them too, but I don’t trust them not to burn themselves out. What’s up with that?”
“No idea.” Mark clinked his glass against mine, and I took a careful sip.
This was what I needed. Just to sit here and feel that the world was under control.
“Has he talked about anything?”
Trust Mark to get to the point and not skirt around the things I desperately needed to talk about.
“No. Not really. I mean, he’s really open about the obvious things, like his struggle to eat. He sleeps really badly and mopes around in the middle of the night. I’m trying to think how to fix that.”
“You know how to fix that. But it’s too soon.”
“I’m not going to do that.”
“Why not? Works for me.” He laughed, but Hugo would panic and probably run away forever if I suggested he let me cuddle him while he slept. It was totally unacceptable, even I knew that.
“Are you coping, though?” Mark made himself comfortable next to me, put his feet up on my lap. “This isn’t easy for you.”
“He chucked my cigarettes out the window.”
His laughter made me chuckle as I took another sip of wine.
