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“Two mouthfuls is good. And that chicken pie isn’t the best. I need to tweak the recipe, get something better on the menu.”
“It doesn’t actually matter what it is. I still hate having to eat it.”
“The offer of making you packed lunches still stands.”
I liked that he cared, but I was not a child.
“Thanks, Mum.”
He giggled at that but reached out and patted my hand.
“You’re doing good, Hu.”Pat. Pat, pat, pat.
“I really like those little plates you make for me in the evening,” I nattered on, spouting out another truth. He was making me nervous but at the same time calming me down. “They kind of work. Strange, isn’t it? There’s more food on those than I just ate, but they are small. Nibbly.”
“Good enough. Fibre, protein, carbs…and some vitamins thrown in for good measure.”
“I had a tomato,” I blurted.
“Well done.” He coughed like he’d said something really stupid.
“Anyway, it’s cold. Don’t catch a cold.”
“I won’t.”
Fuck. Why could we never have a proper conversation without being all weirdly honest?
“Ben?” I liked calling him Ben rather than Benjamin or Chef or whatever else people called him. “I’m really proud of you giving up smoking.” I really was. I liked him better when he didn’t. It made him seem less hard.Because the Ben I was living with wasn’t hard. He was soft and…sad. He even looked sad right now.
“Finn asked me to tell you that there’s a room free in the staff block now if you need to escape from…me.”
“Oh.”
I had to breathe for a while, stare some more at the wall. “Do you want me to move out? I mean, I understand it’s an annoyance to have me live with you. You can’t even sit on your sofa in the evening and watch…do…whatever you do on your sofa. Why don’t you have a TV?”
See? I was being weird again. And he grinned.
“Don’t need one. I like having the place quiet. It calms my head.”
“Agree,” I said. Another thing I really liked about living with him. “I lived in the staff block at my first hotel. Managed three months before I left and moved in with Lewis.”
“The staff accommodation? It’s not very nice down there.”
He didn’t need to tell me that. I’d seen the staff block. Ten rooms in a prefab building next to the loading dock. I absolutely did not want to move down there, even though the thought of independence was tempting.
“I don’t want you to move out,” he said.
Independence could go fuck itself.
“I’ll stay then.”
“Good.”
“Okay.”
“You…Hu…” Now he was flustered. Fuck. “You need to do what’s right for you. I…I like having you living with me, but if you want to go, then do that. But…please don’t.”
“Now you’re the one making no sense, Ben.”
