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“I’m not sure…I can handle a restaurant.” Ugh, and now I was being downright selfish. And rude!
“No, we’re definitely not doing restaurants. I can’t think of anything worse. I spend all my time in a restaurant. I’d rather go somewhere else, to be honest, and I have ideas. Small snacks along the way. Would you be up for that?”
“Yeah.” I would actually. It sounded good.
“I really love that you live here. I love that you sleep in my bed. There are so many things in my life that are going right, and it’s quite scary that I’m this happy.”
“So what was the shouting with Mark about then?”
“A bit of self-doubt. And I told him we kissed. Sorry, I know some things are private, but he needed to know. We’re trying, to…you know. Be more honest with each other.”
“I like honesty.”
“I do too. Mark and me, we’re not that complicated. We sometimes argue about things, but that’s actually the healthiest part of our friendship.”
I nodded into the dark. I supposed that was true.
“So, tomorrow? It’s a date?” It made me want to cry, how happy he sounded.
“Yes,” I whispered. “It’s a date.”
He reached up and kissed my cheek. Snuggled back into my neck.
And I realised I really wanted to kiss him, but we had time. All the time.
“I’ve never been on a proper date,” I said. “Like, a whole day out with someone.” Honesty. Right there.
“Neither have I. I’m really excited. It will be nice to spend the whole day with you. Just being…us.”
“Us,” I repeated.
“Yeah.”
“I really like you.” I didn’t know where that came from. My brain was shooting out words before I’d had time to process them, but he just hugged me tighter.
“I know, and it’s lovely. I feel so comfortable with you.”
“Me too.”
“Night, Hu,” he murmured sleepily.
“Hu-go,” I murmured back.
“Hu-go.”
He fell asleep after that, and I hadn’t even had one olive. No midnight snacks. That made me grin as I snuggled in deeper.
Tomorrow. I’d tease him about it tomorrow.
Ben
Iwas really bad at having lie-ins, especially when I was excited.
It was a long time since I’d been excited about my life, but today, I was, and it took everything not to just shake him awake and bounce out of bed. Instead, I lay there stiff as a board, watching him from under my hair. I should get a haircut. But I really liked my hair messy and long, the rough stubble onmy chin.
I didn’t dare to move. I wanted a few more minutes of watching him sleep. His face was so calm and relaxed, his eyelashes fluttering gently as his eyes moved under his eyelids.
He was…well, I was struggling to gather my thoughts. I felt, so many things watching him. Most of all, it hurt my head and my heart that someone who had been lucky enough to have this gentle soul in his life had hurt him so badly. Because Hugo was gentle. There was nothing harsh or hard about him; he was full of softness and smiles, yet he was still terrified of life around him, that was easy to tell. The nervousness in his shoulders when he thought nobody was looking. His hands clenching in his pockets. The way he would quietly stare at the floor and try to breathe. I hated that he was still frightened, especially around me.
