AllFreeNovel
Share Us
The anger on Ivar’s face evaporates like water on a hot summer day. He swallows hard before replying, concern lacing his tone. “I had no idea. I’m sorry. I wouldn’t have said it if I knew.”
I know he wouldn’t. Ivar has been the best man who’s ever been in my life. He’s kind, considerate, and a fearless protector. In the beginning, I felt like he could be hiding who he really was, but he wasn’t.
He’s a damn good man, and that’s why I have feelings for him. I know it. The only issue is that I don’t think he has feelings for me.
I suck in a breath and look right into those ice-cold gray eyes. I don’t know why he cares so much. I can’t quite wrap my finger around it. “I . . . I don’t know what to do here, okay? I’m telling myself I’m fine. I’m telling everyone else I’m fine.”
Without hesitating, Ivar takes a step toward me and gently traces his rough fingers along my arm. “But you’re not. I know you better than that. You’re strugglin’, and all I wanna do is help you get through this.”
Tears threaten to fall, and I swallow hard. With everything left within me, I try to hold back the flood of emotions that are threatening to burst through. “Haven’t you helped me enough? If it wasn’t for you, who knows where the fuck I would’ve ended up.”
CHAPTER THREE
Ivar
Even with the thick tension between us, I smile lightly. “I’d like to think one way or another, you would’ve ended up on the back of my bike.” There’s a hint of playfulness in my voice, and I hope the playfulness boosts her spirits.
Starla blinks a couple of times, her expression shifting into something a bit darker. “You might have been better off without me getting on your bike.” Bitterness laces her tone.
I chuckle, trying to lighten the mood between us. “Maybe, maybe not. What I do know is you needed to get on the back of my bike. No one else was gonna help you, sweetheart. I was behind you for two miles and kept watching the cars fly by you. That’s why I stopped, ‘cause no one else had the damn decency to.”
Tears well up in the corners of her eyes. “Y-you never told me that before.”
I offer her a sympathetic smile. “I didn’t feel like you needed to know.”
Starla nods, accepting what I’ve said, and purses her lips together before speaking again. Her voice is filled with pain, and Gods, do I want to rip all the pain from her. “I don’t know whoI am anymore, Ivar. I hate this person I’ve become. I hate that I remind myself ofhim.”
Oh, no. We’re not doing this. I’m not going to let her berate herself. She is a damn good person. One of the best people I’ve had the pleasure of knowing.
I close the distance between us and press my body against her frail frame. “Whoa. You arenothinglike him. Your best friend was attacked, and you acted in a way any of us would’ve. You acted like a Raider ‘cause that’s what the fuck you are. Everyone else might call you ahóra, but you’re more than that.”
I can see the emotions running through her as she tries to accept what I’ve said.
She shakes her head and looks up at me with teary eyes. “I killed her, Ivar. She used to be my f-friend.”
I nod, keeping my hand on her face, and look right into her magnetic hazel eyes. “I know she did, but sometimes the people we thought we knew turn on us, and she did that. I wish you would stop torturing yourself. I can see it eating you alive, Star.”
As soon as I call her by her nickname, something changes in her expression. For a moment, she’s not so serious, and she softens.
Star. A nickname I’ve given her since the first day we met. She doesn’t look so serious, and soon enough, the guilt and self-hatred fade away.
She licks her lips and averts her eyes as she speaks, focusing on something behind me. Her voice is barely audible, but the sincerity in her voice is genuine. “I’m sorry I was such a cunt to you earlier.”
I snake my hand around the back of her neck, my fingers tracing the curve of her spine. “You could be an angel or a cunt. I’d still care either way.”
She takes in a slow, deep breath and asks something I should’ve been expecting. “Why do you care so much? I’ve never understood it.”
I pause before I answer her, needing to think about my answer. “Well, I suppose I’ve grown fond of you over the years,” I admit honestly. “I know I shouldn’t have, but I did. Truth is, the moment I saw the swelling on your face, I knew you needed me. And ever since then, I’ve cared, even when I’ve tried not to.”
It feels good to tell Starla the truth. I’ve tried so long to stay away from her, but there are times when I wonder if our being together could really be a bad thing.
Any time the two of us have had sex in the past, I’ve been plastered. I’ve never been able to fuck her while I’m sober. I’m starting to think it’s because of how deeply I care for her. The alcohol numbs me a bit.
Deep down, there’s a part of me that tells myself things could shift between us quickly. She’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a woman, but it’s not worth the risk.
Above everything, we’re friends, and I’m not going to ruin our friendship.
But, if we’re only friends, why is it I’ve pushed away any other woman who’s gotten close? I joked around a bit with Rayna when she came here and saw the way Starla looked at me.
