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“We have the Charlie I know and love, right? Fun, full of life, vibrant.” He moved his gaze to the wall. “But when you were with Jess, you were always sort of needy. Anxious and unhappy.”
Really?Maybe he should’ve spoken up at some point during the last decade. Although, admittedly, it couldn’t have been easy for him to bite his tongue for so long. “Is this supposed to make me feel better?”
“I know, sorry.” He patted her on the leg. “But when you were with Jess, it was like it scared you to be who you were. You were her shadow. But after the divorce, you transformed and becameyou. All of you. And when Mack came into your life, you stayed that way. You haven’t changed one bit. You don’t frantically check your phone. You’re not constantly talking about her like you don’t exist if she doesn’t exist. When she had to focus on her book, you weren’t all pissy and anxious. You are just you—with a partner.”
The weight of his words lay heavy on her. “Okay…”
“But I’m going to be straight with you. Your first inclination is to run. You dodge and smile at horrible customers. You put up with a ton of crap from your dad. And you’re the current reigning champion for avoiding confrontation. So, now are you just running because it’s comfortable? ’Cause that’s your go-to? If so, cool. I’ll be your bouncer. We don’t have to let her in. I’ll even run with you wherever you want to go.”
She tugged the pillow into her chest and ran her fingers through the fringes. Ben wasn’t wrong, even though his words stung, and she kind of wanted to kick him in the shins. Was she not giving Mack a chance? Was her MO really running and avoiding confrontation? Sure, she took hell from customers because that was her livelihood. And she didn’t address things with her dad ’cause, well, that was her dad. And she didn’t challenge Jess ’cause that was her wife. And…
Crap.Maybe she did run.
Ben scooted lower on the couch and draped his legs on the side. “I just want to make sure you’re giving yourself a chance at authentic love.”
Damn. Ben could be freakishly insightful. She exhaled and lowered her head. Shegave herself a chance.Right?What Mack did was awful. Wrong. Unethical…right? She was tired, had been up for too many hours, and her body and brain were fatigued.
“But it really, really, hurts.”
He nodded. “I know.”
A knock on the door jolted her upright.
Ben got off the couch and looked out the peephole. “It’s Mack.”
She froze, then shrunk down under the covers. She couldn’t think. Words probably couldn’t even formulate on her tongue at this point. If she opened the door, no good outcome could possibly happen. She’d either scream, cry, or forgive her in a snap, and none of those options were acceptable.
“I can’t see her.” Hot tears sprang up. “Please, Ben. I can’t.”
“All good. I’ll take care of it.”
A pounding in her ears grew in intensity. She crawled off the couch, grabbed her lucky jade stone from the side table, and dragged herself behind the half wall to listen. Clutching the rock in her fingers, she held her breath as she waited for Mack’s voice. She wanted to see her. She didn’t want to see her. She wanted to scream and cry and swear and crawl into a ball.
She heard the door unlatch, and she rubbed the stone between her fingers like a cricket.
“Can I talk to her?” Mack’s voice, though raw and shaky, was determined.
“No,” Ben snapped.
No matter what gentle voice he’d given Charlie all night, Brother Bear was not playing. She wished she could see Mack’s face right now. Was she red from crying? Scalding from anger? Fidgeting?
“I know it looks bad. And… it was bad. At first. I need to explain what happened.”
Charlie’s limbs froze. She could just step out. Talk to her. Be an adult and have a sit-down.
But Mack lied!
“I can’t lose her.” Mack’s voice cracked.
“I don’t know how you can fix this,” Ben said.
There was a long pause, and Charlie imagined a standoff between them. Maybe Ben folded his arms, refusing entrance, while Mack tugged on her clothes or shifted her feet.
“Can you give this to her for me?”
The sound of something rustling and then footsteps fading away floated in the air.
“Whatever it’s worth,” Ben called out, “I’m rooting for you.”
