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“Are you sure?” I asked, barely above a whisper. Playtime aside,I had to be certain.
“Yes, sir,” she said. I groaned loudly as she caught my lower lip between her teeth and tugged. I couldn’t wait another second to be inside her, where I belonged. I reached under her, shoving my shorts down as I went, and grabbed the waistband of her pajama pants. I jerked them off, and she squealed at the sudden rush of cool air against her flushed skin.
And then she was squealing for an entirely different reason as I picked her up and brought her down hard in my lap, impaling her with one swift motion.
15.
Hope
I lay there beside Jamie, thoroughly satisfied and exhausted but still not able to drop off into sleep.
It wasn’t dread that was keeping me up. I felt like a kid on Christmas morning. Shame shadowed my excitement, but after talking to Jamie, my faith was renewed. As long as he had my back, I could do anything. Even be the center of attention.
I gazed at his princely profile, his strong nose crooked at the top of the bridge where it had been broken at least three times. His sharp, flared jaw and the faint smattering of freckles that dusted his cheeks. I knew I was in love with him. The shadow couldn’t touch that certainty. He showed me why I loved him every day, and he showed me that he loved me in return. I’d never felt this peaceful and safe.
So why was I so eager to run out and sleep with other people?
It was the question I couldn’t stop asking myself, the one I was afraid to ask anyone else.
I rolled onto my back and stared at the moonlight-blue ceiling, trying and failing to put my worries away.
I knew that, regardless of worry, I was going to do this. Our experience with Rowan had brought up a lot of emotions in me, but none as strong as desire.
Even fear was second to my raw, hungry need.
I wanted to do it again. And if Kane Devereaux, or Mr. Branson, or anyone else had something to say about it, I would let them know exactly where they could stick their unwanted opinion.
16.
Jamie
I’d never checked out guys before. Despite my interest in bringing other dicks into our circle for Hope, I had no desire to partake in them myself. But now, in the locker room, I felt like I was in a meat market. I couldn’t help but wonder who could give her the most pleasure.
The married guys were out, unless Lars suddenly confessed that he and Jeanine were swingers. Even then, I had no interest in having sex with anyone besides Hope. She was it for me, my everything. The one. All I wanted was to make her happy, make her feel good, by any and all means necessary. It was a fun challenge, trying to think of new ways to make her come.
I watched Kane carefully. She mentioned that he’d said something to her at Copper’s that made her doubt herself and everything we were trying to do. Part of me wanted to corner the punk and demand to know what he said, what he meant, what he knew. But none of that mattered. Not really. Most likely, everyone would know soon enough. If we were going to do this, we had to be prepared for that fact. Hockey players gossiped worse than their wives and girlfriends. They couldn’t keep a juicy scoop to themselves. And through the game of telephone, who knew what would come out the other end about Hope and me, and anyone reckless and horny enough to join our little game.
Maybe we were crazy to sign ourselves up for that. She did have parents, unlike me. I was a foster brat, the last living branch of my family tree, and she was the first home I’d ever really had. But she had a reputation to worry about. She came from a respected family. People might judge her forsleeping around.
I was starting to understand why she was worried. There were so many things that could go wrong. But I believed we were on the same page, that despite all that, we both still believed it was worth it. At least to try. If not now, when?
Rowan stepped out of the coach’s office, and our eyes met over the crowd. He didn’t smile, didn’t nod, but still, a flicker of understanding passed between us that hadn’t been there before. I was optimistic that he’d be on board for another roll in the hay.
I picked up my phone and scrolled until I found his name. Then I typed out my message, read it over and, with the feeling of jumping off a cliff, I pressed send.
17.
Rowan
My phone buzzed in my pocket as I was wrangling the team to give them a quick pep talk before I cut them loose for the evening. I ignored it, ran them through my ideas for tomorrow’s practice, touched base with some of my weaker players, and brainstormed with some of my stronger ones. I felt Jamie’s eyes on me, and I felt when he left the room, but I forced myself not to look at him again.
It’s not that I didn’t want to join him and his drop-dead gorgeous girlfriend for another romp. I was a big fan of group activities. But I figured discretion was best for all parties involved. It wouldn’t take long for the team to catch on that something was up if Jamie and I were exchanging loaded glances during debrief. Of course, they’d probably just assume we were fucking each other. But I didn’t want them thinking that, either. I wasn’t a homophobe or anything, I just didn’t want to get shit-canned for fraternization.
When every last player was gone, I walked around straightening the locker room, restocking the towels, doing the stuff we’d always had staff to handle when I was playing in the major league. Now I was a schlub assistant coach in the minors, and it all fell on me.
I peeled the trash bag out of the big can and tied it up as I walked out of the arena, turning off the lights behind me as I went. The cleaning crew would come in a few hours, but I did my part to keep their load down. I’d rather they be able to focus on sanitizing than organizing towels and taking out the day’s trash. I tossed the bag in the dumpster on the way to my car, and then I climbed in and slammed the door behind me, shutting out the frigid wind.
Fucking Wyoming. If it was this bad in October, what the hell was I going to be dealing with in January? I needed a heavier coat and a pair of snow boots. My cold-weather clothes had been more than enough for Tennessee, but up here it was like a different, frozen planet. I cranked the truck and turned the heater dial to its hottest setting.
