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That realization was like a gut punch, even after all this time. But he’d make it up to her if it was the last thing he ever did. Because one thing was certain; even almost twelve years later, his feelings for Penny were still just as strong and he didn’t want to let her go again.
He’d come back here with the sole intention of looking her up. He’d second guessed that decision a thousand times and kidded himself that he wouldn’t be completely gutted if he found she was already married, even though the odds hadn’t been in his favor. He’d convinced himself he just wanted to catch up with an old friend.
Now he knew, without a doubt, that was all a lie.
He pressed his thumb over her wobbling lip and tried not to read too much into her indrawn breath. He still didn’t know if she was single after all, though the fact that she was here, alone, during the week after Christmas, seemed favorable.
“I’d really appreciate it if you gave me that chance,” he told her earnestly.
CHAPTER FOUR
Penny felt her heart squeeze tight. She’d always had a soft spot for Josh. Scrap that, she’d had the biggest crush on him ever, and in all the intervening years, she’d never felt the same way about anyone else.
But that had been a stupid school-girl crush. She was an adult now, surely that meant she could be mature about his request.
Penny closed her eyes and rubbed her fingers across her forehead. She didn’t feel like an adult right now and she didn’t want to adult either, but obviously that wasn’t an option. She felt like the fifteen-year-old girl she had been. The one that babbled to Josh non-stop about the school jock, Brad Humphries, just so she didn’t accidentally slip and give away her real feelings for the plump, geeky boy who had been her best friend.
She knew Josh had been self-conscious about his weight and the large, thick framed black glasses he’d been cursed to wear, but none of that had ever mattered to Penny. Because she’d known the real him. The clever kid who’d never thought twice about helping with her homework, even though he had far more important exams coming up. The sweet boy who talked her down from so many ledges of despair when she’d opened up her soul to him and lamented the fact that none of the popular girls liked her. That she was never included in any of the parties and shopping trips her peers arranged. Stupid things that had seemed so very important to an adolescent girl.
It was all so laughable when she looked back on it through the eyes of an adult. But it had seemed like the be all and end all to a naive kid who didn’t know what bigger disappointments lay ahead. How there really were worse things in life than Cindy Cartwright inviting everyone in their year to a summer pool party, except her.
Losing Josh was one of those things. Maybe the worst of all, because it had a knock-on effect that she still felt to this day and part of her still hated him for it and didn’t want to go back there.
But perhaps, if she heard him out, it would be cathartic, and she could lay some of those ghosts to rest.
“Okay,” she said, wondering if the uncertainty was obvious in her voice. But even if it was, Josh didn’t give her a chance to change her mind. He took her hand, pulled her up and marched over to let the receptionist know. Then, without another word, he led her right up to his own room, luggage and all.
“Wow!” The words tumbled out of Penny’s mouth as soon as Josh opened the door to the penthouse suite. This was a far cry from the wrecked single room she had been booked into. “This is almost enough to make me start looking at this place in a slightly more favorable light,” she joked, looking around at the lush interior with its beautiful antique furniture.
They had walked into a lounge area, which was bigger than her apartment at home.
“The hotel does have some redeeming features,” Josh agreed as he directed her to one of two doors off the lounge. “Unfortunately, you’ve had a particularly dreadful experience. But it’s not a common one, if that’s any consolation.”
She was about to ask how he knew, when he took her into a beautiful, luxurious bedroom with a massive sleigh bed. Penny was still trying to take it all in when he opened yet another door and she was pulled out of her reverie by the sound of water cascading into the bath.
She stopped gawping at the impressive view through the elegantly dressed double height windows. Turning away from the draw of the immaculately manicured lawns decked out for the season with twinkling white lights that sparkled to life in the growing dusky twilight, she followed him into the bathroom.
She whistled appreciatively as she took in the room. Well, she told herself it was the immaculately turned out en-suite with its huge, claw foot bath, separate shower and luxurious marble tile and not the sight of Josh’s tight ass as he bent over the frothing water and thoughtfully added a handful of jasmine scented bath salts.
He straightened up and she dragged her eyes quickly away from his butt. From the slight smirk on his face, she wasn’t convinced that she hadn’t been caught out though.
He treated her to the same wicked grin she remembered from high school, but his words were deceptively nonchalant. “There you go, enjoy your bath, Penny.” He winked. “Take as long as you need and relax. It’s been a pretty traumatic afternoon for you. I’m going to grab myself a shower before dinner.”
As she stripped off and slipped underneath the fragrantly scented water, Penny decided perhaps things weren’t so bad after all.
Ninety minutes later, she dressed in the one and only suitable frock she’d packed, and decided it was a shame the hotel wasn’t offering room service this evening. She would have far preferred to stay in the privacy of this beautiful suite to talk to Josh. But the safety of having other people around was perhaps just as well. She didn’t want to end up making a fool of herself, after all. She couldn’t quite decide if that would be more or less mortifying as an adult than it was as a teen.
She blow-dried her long, red hair and, for the first time in forever, wished it had some semblance of style and that she hadn’t let it so long to cut her bangs. Jeez, what was she thinking, she didn’t even own any makeup these days. She no longer cared about such trivial, frivolous things. She’d given all that up years ago when she realized nobody cared.
When the young Josh had no longer been there to try and dazzle and attract, a little voice in the back of her mind reminded her.
Straight on the heels of that thought her mother’s advice came crashing into her brain, lecturing on how she should want to look her best for herself, not other people. Perhaps she should have listened, after all.
Oh well, there was no point in lamenting the fact all these years later, no matter how much she might like to impress Josh for their one and only dinner before she had to go home.
CHAPTER FIVE
“You look great,” Josh complimented, looking her up and down appreciatively, as she walked into the lounge.
