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“You are special. I don’t say it often enough, but I love you.”
“I love you too, honey.” She regards me with a keen mother’s eye. “I’m not complaining, but did something bring this about?”
I’d been thinking about Jazz losing her mother and how fortunate I am. “We often let moments go by without telling the important people in our lives how we feel. I didn’t want to waste the moment.”
“Waxing poetic now.”
“No. Not really.” I lean against the counter.
“Well, it’s nice to see this softer side.” She smiles approvingly, and puts the bread in the oven. “You’ve always been my serious boy. Responsible, intense, disciplined. I know you carried a lot on your shoulders after your father left. You thought you had to replace him somehow, and I was such a mess back then, so hurt, that I let you. I’m sorry for that, Leo.”
“Mom, you have nothing to apologize for.”
“I do. Taking care of me, the house, and your brother should not have fallen upon a thirteen-year-old.”
“Why are we rehashing this? I happen to like that I’m responsible and disciplined.”
“You do it well.” She pats my arm. “But sometimes, I’d just like to see you let go, have fun, not think and worry so much. To be?—”
“More like Kai?”
“No. I wasn’t going to say that. I was going to say ‘relaxed.’ But just as Kai could take lessons from you, you could do the same.”
I let the retort die on my tongue. Me, take lessons from Kai? Not in this lifetime. But I don’t have to say anything for my mother to know what I’m thinking.
“You still have so much anger towards him.”
“I can’t just forget what he did.”
“I’m not asking you to forget, honey. I’m asking you to forgive,” she adds carefully. “It’s been almost five years. Kai made a terrible choice, but he was young.”
“Mom, don’t.”
“I’m not making excuses for him, Leo.”
“That’s exactly what you’re doing.”
“I just want this to end, honey. For us to be a family again. You were talking about not wasting those moments…think about that.”
“All right,” I reluctantly concede, to avoid ruining the evening. “I’ll try.”
“Thank you.” She puts her arms around me. “I want more than anything for my boys to get along. All we have is each other.”
I hug her back, making a promise to put in the effort because it means so much to her.
Kai bounds through the front door then and into the kitchen like an excited puppy.
“You’re home.” My mother brims with excitement because that’s how Kai’s charm works. He puts a smile on everyone’s face, except mine.
“Hey, Brother Grim.” He uses the nickname I detest, and twirls my mother around in a dance, making her laugh.
“What’s gotten into you?” she asks.
“I’m in love, Mom.”
“Oh, my goodness, Leo, did you hear that?”
“Yeah,” I reply, mustering up as much enthusiasm as I would for a tooth extraction. Kai has never been serious about a woman, let alone fallen in love.
