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“I wouldn’t get on my high horse if I were you,” I say, pushing past him to get into my bedroom.
“Rowan?” he snorts.
“Yes, Rowan. What happened to our pact about only dating nice guys?”
“I’m not dating him. Rowan and I are over. He’s nothing but a self-centred ass-wipe.”
“You say that all the time.”
“Yeah, I know. But he gives the best head.”
I toss a pillow at him, and he ducks, laughing. “I’m easy, what can I say? It was just a hook-up. I don’t have feelings for Rowan anymore.”
“And your point is?” I ask, grabbing purple cheeky panties from the drawer.
“My point is, you have feelings for Leo. It’s not the same as my situation at all.” He becomes serious again. “So yeah, I will get on my high horse when I see you heading down a path where you might get hurt.”
“I’m not going to get hurt.”
“I saw you when Leo dropped you off this morning. If this were high school, you would have been doodling hearts and his initials in your notebook.”
“Back off, Zay. I know what I’m doing.”
“You can’t have them both.”
“I don’t want Kai. Not in that way.”
“But he wants you.”
“How do you know that?”
“’Cause I know men. He didn’t just show up at your workplace and ask you out on a coffee date because he wants to be your buddy.”
“It wasn’t a date,” I stress weakly in my defense.
“It’s a date when someone has it in their mind that that’s what it is. You can’t be this naïve, Jazz. There’s already friction between them. And dividing your time between Leo and Kai isn’t going to land well with either brother.”
“I’m not dividing my time between them. I want Leo; there’s no contest.”
“Then you better make sure both of them know that.”
“I’m going to tell Leo tonight.” The thought sits like rocks in my stomach.
“I’m not trying to put a wrench into what you’ve got going with him. I’m just looking out for you.”
“I know.” I give Zay a hug. “I love you for that.”
“Then do me a favour and take care of that big, beautiful heart of yours.”
The conversation with Zay left me feeling off-centre. I meditated over it, trying to find some inner calm. But standing in the vestibule of Leo’s building, I press the button and nervously smooth a hand over my short plaid kilt and cropped knit sweater. He buzzes me in, and greets me at the door. I sway a little. It’s not just that he’s breath-taking in jeans and a metallic-grey Henley that matches the colour of his eyes, it’s his effect on me. Pure white-hot desire and deep, burning emotion.
“Hi.” My voice comes out in a high squeak that makes me blush with embarrassment. I smile to cover it up.
He looks me over, and eyes the overnight bag. For a dreadful few seconds, I wonder if he’s changed his mind. Then he takes it from me and leads me inside. No kiss, though. There’s a distance to him. Unless the nerves I’m experiencing have built that up in my imagination.
I’m freaking myself out because I wish I had told Leo about Kai this morning when I had the opportunity, and before I had gone out for coffee with him. I hadn’t expected to see Kai today.Coffee seemed harmless, but in hindsight I still should have said no. Whatever their rift, I don’t want to be in the middle of it.
“How was practice?” I ask, stalling. I know I must tell him. Just not right now. I want to get back that easiness between us first.
