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While I answer the call, Jazz puts her top back on, and I watch those lush breasts disappear.
“I’m fine,” my mother assures me when I ask. She doesn’t often call out of the blue. “I just wanted to tell you how excited Kai is about his ideas for F.!.T.. I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen him so passionate about something other than video games.”
“And?” I ask, knowing there’s a message coming that I probably won’t like.
“He won’t even share it with me, he’s so eager for you to hear his presentation first. He’s working really hard on this, Leo.”
“That’s what most people do every day, Mom. They work hard.”
“I know that. I’m just saying perhaps you could?—”
“Go easy on him. Tell him it’s great no matter what?” I drag a hand over my face.
“Just boost his confidence. That’s all I’m asking.”
“You do realize that you are speaking on behalf of a grown man. Would you call up any employer to ask them to go easy on Kai so he can feel good about himself?”
“It’s not the same thing.”
“It should be. If Kai presents a great presentation, I will definitely tell him so. And if he doesn’t, like I would with any other employee, I’ll point out what was good and where he might have missed the mark. And if it’s total shit, I’ll tell him that too. I’m not going to handle him with kid gloves, and I resent you asking me to.”
“Well, you’re in a mood today.”
“I was in a fine mood before this call. If you want to coddle Kai, that’s your choice. But you can see where that’s gotten him.”
“So, I’m a bad mother?”
“No. Not all. I love you and respect that you raised two young boys on your own. Maybe you felt like you had to compensate for Kai not having a father, I don’t know, Mom. But if you don’t let Kai stand on his own, he’s going to be forty years old, still living in his childhood bedroom, playing video games.”
“You might be right.” She sniffs, and I feel like crap. “Maybe I have babied him. But he’s not strong like you, Leo.”
“He can be. You just have to let him discover that for himself.”
“I hope you’ll at least consider what I said.”
I heave a sigh. There’s no point in saying more.
Jazz, who had heard my side of the conversation, is by my side on the couch when I hang up. She puts her arms around me, not asking me about it, as if sensing I don’t want to talk. She simply offers me the warmth of her comfort and understanding.
I love you. The words linger on my tongue, unspoken, but resonate loudly in every pulse and beat of my heart.
CHAPTER 21
Jazz
THIS SITUATION BETWEEN LEO AND Kai feels like a ticking bomb. After a quiet dinner with Leo seeming lost in his thoughts, I decided to create a calming environment with dim lighting, flickering candles, and the soothing sounds of ocean waves for meditation. I invited Leo to join me, as the tension in his forehead hadn’t eased since his mother’s call. But he declined and went for a jog instead, even though he had already worked out earlier.
I took a bath, changed into a camisole and pyjama bottoms, and began reading “The Miracle of Mindfulness.” When Leo returned, he showered and climbed into bed naked. But as I regard him now, I keep my focus on the matter at hand.
“Do you want to talk?” I ask, having given him space throughout the evening.
“There’s nothing to say,” he replies. “It’s the same old story.”
I understand his anger and frustration. Kai has always been treated like a child by their mother, and Kai played into it. In contrast, Leo has always been a reliable and responsible son. He claims he doesn’t need to address his issues with Kai, but thepast, now coupled with his guilt over not yet telling Kai about us, is gnawing at him.
“I don’t want to upset you,” I say.
“Then leave it be, Jazz.”
