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“Callum,” Renee’s voice got quiet. “It might not be enough. Just like you had to deal with Emma’s death, Quinn has to deal with all that shit that happened with Jason. That’sstillhappening, considering he’s alive.”
“I’m going to get her out of it.”
“I’m sure. But right now, being trapped is her worst nightmare. And right now, she might not see the difference between commitment and entrapment.” She paused, waiting for her meaning to sink in. When I didn’t say anything, she blew out her breath and said, “Listen, all I’m saying is, don’t rush in with a diamond ring and promises of forever, okay?”
“I hear you,” I said. And I did, but nothing was going to stop me from finding Quinn. And despite all the obstacles and reasons why we could never work, I was going to tell her how I felt and what I wanted. And if she broke my heart–well, that was a risk I was willing to take.
She was worth it.
CHAPTER 31
QUINN
Callum was on his way, and every bit of me wanted to slip out the back door, cut through my reclusive neighbor’s yard, and hide on his side porch until an Uber showed up to take me away.
Which was insane.
I knew it was insane.
Callum wasnotJason. According to Renee, even Jason wasn’t Jason anymore. He might be dead, or nearly. His grandmother was with him. My heart was torn between hope and horror. How had I become someone who wished someone dead? But then the memory of his hands bracketing around my wrists when I tried to get away from him became corporeal. The brackish, coppery fear at the base of my tongue tasted like blood and vomit. I’d nearly forgotten the taste until Callum grabbed my arm and wouldn’t let go.
Callum, who would never, ever hurt me.
Callum who might be loving Emma by proxy, using me in a way that felt too much like the way that Jason had used me. He’d walked into Jimmy’s seven years ago, looked at me, and saw someone else. Someone I could be, if I let him mold me. I would never let anyone mold me again. Never let anyone tell me what I could and couldn’t do.
Renee had left right after spending a suspiciously long time in the bathroom and then coming out to tell me her brother was on his way. I’d all but begged her to stay, but she refused.
“I’m not sticking around to watch you make up and make out with my brother.”
“Please, Renee.”
She stopped and looked at me seriously. “The truth is, I can’t be here for this. I understand if you have to break his heart, but I can’t see it happen, okay? I love him just as much as I love you. Do what you have to do. Just not in front of me.”
“I need you, Renee.”
“You don’t, Quinn. You can do this.”
Then, after she’d found her car keys where I’d tried to hide them in the pantry, she smacked a kiss on the side of my cheek and headed back to Belmont Springs.
I wished I was going with her. I had loved this bungalow for so long, but it somehow had never managed to feel like home. And right now, it felt entirely too small. When Callum walked through that front door, he would fill up all the space, and take up all the oxygen.
My heart rate ratcheted up so high that when the inevitable knock came at the door that I jumped. As I walked toward thedoor, flashes of the times Jason came over uninvited flashed through my mind. I opened it and half expected to see him already taking a step forward, crowding me back, inviting himself in.
Instead, it was Callum standing there. His hands were shoved in his pockets, and there was a cautious look on his face. His quick green eyes took me in at a glance. “You’re white as a sheet.”
“It’s not you.” I gripped the knob and leaned against the door. It felt so good to see him it almost hurt. And that ache scared me.
“It’s notjustme,” he corrected grimly. I could see how tense his jaw was, the muscles in his arms even as he tried to look casual. He wanted to charge in and fix things, but he was holding himself back.
I let my head rest against the door, still holding onto the round metal knob. I wasn’t ready to let him in, but the sight of him was a balm for my exposed nerves. He stood on the other side of the welcome mat, like he wasn’t sure if he was actually welcome. Like he’d go away if he wasn’t.
“What if I don’t want to let you in?” I tested him.
“Then I’ll wait out here.”
“What if I want you to go away?”
“Then I’ll go away. But I won’t stay away, Quinn. I’ll come back every day until you’re ready to let me in.”
