Page 30 of Hating Wren


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We’d named the rabbit Chad in homage to the douche-y, fake-chlamydia-spreading frat bro who had neglected him for who knew how long. He’d been our shared pet for three years until he died of old age. The two of us smiled for a moment at the shared memory, until Ames cleared her throat and continued.

“That’s what the guys reminded me of. Younger you, doing reckless, dangerous things because you were passionate about them. Standing up for what you thought was right, what you thought was yours. The same day Alex blackmailed you into coming to the house, we’d gone shopping for patio furniture. We were trying to figure out how much seating to get, and at that point there were only four of us. But I couldn’t stop imagining you there with us, you and Dev and Alex bonding over some dumb, dangerous stunt. That’s how we ended up with six seats, because I knew one of them would be for you.”

“You never told me that before.”

Ames laughed quietly, “I know you don’t love emotional talk, so I never felt the need to mention it. Besides, I was right, wasn’t I? You guys are working together, you’re friends. You’re more similar to Alex than I would’ve expected, both of you so possessive. I’m sure Dev will be just as bad when he gets a girl.”

“Possessive?” I scoffed, recalling the amount of relationships that had ended because of the exact opposite problem.You don’t care about me enough, a few had claimed.You don’t care aboutanythingenough.I’d never had much of an opposing argument. I opened my mouth to tell her just that, only stopping as I recalled the past few weeks.

The possessiveness that filled my body when I saw that woman flirting with Wren, fighting Dev over the right to protect her, insisting on her wearing my clothes after I pushed her into the pool and forcing her to let me bandage her finger after she got hurt. I shook the images out of my head, refusing to believe everyone had caught onto my weakness so easily.

I was saved from having to convince Ames - and myself - how uninterested and unpossessive I was when our sandwiches were delivered. We ate in a tense silence, most of the tension emanating from my side of the table. I had fucked up our relationship once before, failing my sister when she needed me the most, and I refused to do it again.

I wasn’t sure what Ames would ask of me, what she would accuse me of, but I could only hope it was something that I’d be able to do. Because if she asked me to take a step back from Wren, I wasn’t sure I could. Even the thought of it had my fists clenching, jaw grinding as the same worst-case scenarios from earlier in the day ran back through my mind.

Finally finished with her sandwich, Ames sat back, looking down to where I’d abandoned my food halfway through, stomach too tight in knots to finish it.

“I always knew you’d be friends with Alex and Dev,” she continued, “But I never knew how you’d react to Wren.”

She narrowed her eyes on my face, giving me the same look she always did when she was trying to catch me in a lie. I had never been good at this part, not with Ames. No matter how stoic I kept my face with everyone else, Ames had always been able to read right through the mask, all my tells as familiar to her as breathing.

“She’s a lot, you know? She’s bubbly and loud and flirty, and I thought you guys would either hit it off or you’d treat her kindly but coolly. I never expected you to treat her as harshly as you did, ignoring her, glaring at her, treating her like she was nothing. And I hated it, but I didn’t want to interfere. Wren, despite acting so sweet and innocent, likes to fight her own battles. So I let her. I didn’t say anything.”

Ames paused, as if expecting me to explain myself, defend myself, but there was nothing I could do or say. No way to justify how I had treated Wren other than tell the truth, which was the one thing I was unwilling to do.

After a moment, Ames huffed out a breath before she continued. “She told me, after you gave her a ride home the night of our engagement party, that she was trying to give you space. But I told her you didn’t respect space, you respected boldness. Defiance. And so she started to get bold with you.”

She paused again, giving me another chance to chime in, but I sat silently, unsure where she was going or what she was going to say. I figured this was heading in the direction of Ames firing me for Alex. I was her sister after all, and it made sense that she’d buy me lunch and fire me to save me the embarrassment of having her fiancé do it.

“She told me about what happened the other night, with you walking in on her.”

“Ames, I -” I fumbled as I attempted to say, what?It didn’t mean anything. Lie.It won’t happen again. False.I can keep my work and Wren separate. Untrue.

“I asked her if she liked you, if you liked her. And you know what she said?”

“What?” I breathed, nails digging into my palms as I braced myself for the inevitable rejection.

“She told me you hated her. And the worst part was, I couldn’t be sure she was wrong. Because you’ve always hated the things that meant the most to you.”

I sat there, speechless, breath knocked out of me as I realized this wasn’t about Wren rejecting me but the opposite.

Ames kicked me in the shin - hard - forcing my focus back to her. She poked her finger toward me, eyes angry as she told me, “When Mom and Dad died, you left me as soon as you could, because you loved me. Because somewhere, deep down, you couldn’t stand to lose something you cared about again. And now you’re doing the same thing to Wren because you care about her, you probably love her, and you’re displaying it in the worst possible way.”

“Why do you think I care about her?” I asked, unable to stop the defensive response. Here I was, trying my best to keep my emotions under the surface, only for Ames to uncover them within minutes, doing what would probably take me years of therapy to get out on my own.

Ames laughed, as if my question were ridiculous. She ticked off fingers as she listed each piece of evidence one by one. “Your eyes are constantly on her, but only when she’s not looking. You insisted on her wearing your clothes after you pushed her into the pool.” When I looked up in surprise that she knew the truth, Ames shot me a disgruntled look, “Honestly, if Alex didn’t say you were good at your job, I’d be concerned, because you’ve been fucking obvious since the moment you met her. You took a literal step back when you first saw her face.

“Now, what else? You made her apple pie, which I know for a fact you haven’t made since Dad died. Alex told me about how you went up against Dev for the claim to protect Wren. Not to mention calling her ‘little bird’ and ‘lovely’ as if you’ve ever called anyone by a pet name before.” She held up six fingers, waving them around with her eyebrows raised as if to ask,Is that enough?

This was the worst part about your sister being your best friend. She knew me too well, catching every minuscule tell and analyzing it without my permission, only to spring it on me to force my hand. I kept my emotions to myself, with good reason: I didn’t trust anyone else. But Ames had always been that one person who saw past every defense and felt obligated to call me out on it. I did the same to her, but honestly, she fucked up way less often.

“Now, you gave me some hard advice when I needed it most. I was drowning, and you gave me that first breath of air to get me swimming back to the surface. So I’m going to do the same to you. If you want Wren, make your move. I don’t care if you don’t think she belongs with us or any of the other bullshit she told me about. I’ll tell you right now that Wren isn’t going anywhere. You need to decide if you want to be with her or if you’re alright watching as she moves on with someone else.”

She stood up, not giving me a chance to respond before she threw down a few bills to cover our sandwiches and kissed me on the forehead the same way our parents did when we were kids. “You’ll make the right choice, little sis,” she whispered in my ear, leaving me behind as if she hadn’t dropped a bomb and left me to take the shrapnel.

* * *

A text came through earlythe next morning as I laid curled under the covers that somehow smelt of flowers and Wren despite being a guest bedroom. I didn’t bother moving until the second text came in half a minute later, my phone vibrating so close to the edge of the nightstand that it almost fell. I reached over with a quiet groan, opening one eye against the light filtering through the curtains to read my text messages.

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