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I wasn’t far off from my destination, and I kept walking through the now busier streets towards the place I was supposed to be. My heart was pounding, my mind screaming one word at me repeatedly. Danger. Danger. Danger.
I was afraid, shaking as I made my way down the street, pushing past people I didn’t know and trying to keep my tears at bay as I kept on walking. I convinced myself I’d be okay as long as I kept moving, kept going forward, slowly trying to reach my destination where surely they’d take care of me, and where I would finally be safe.
Looking at the address Carina had given me again, I prayed for the first time in my life, but I didn’t know what I was asking for.
My heart, my head, and my feet hurt. I ached for him, to be taken into Thorn’s arms again and be reassured that he would take care of me, make sure nothing bad happened to me. That he would watch over me, make sure I was alright and make sure nobody would hurt me.
I entered a semi-delirious state as I walked down the street, still feeling like danger was a single step behind me. It was morning then, and there were so many people outside, but it didn’t make me feel any safer. In fact, I felt lost in the sea of strangers, their faces unknown to me and unkind, out to hurt me, out to get me. I was afraid.
I kept moving, the little piece of paper in my hands crumpled, the ink smudged from my sweaty hands. There were less and less people around as I made my way into a different neighborhood, checking the paper again to make sure I was following the path Carina had drawn for me. I was.
The panic attack I had felt coming on in the alley was now threatening to come out in full force. My breaths were shallow and panicked and I knew I had to stop, but I was so afraid a monster would jump from the shadows and attack me I tried to keep going at any cost. Finally, it became too much.
My palm gripped the brick wall of an unknown building, and I stumbled forward, trying desperately to catch my breath. I looked around, once again not finding anyone around me. I was alone… no one was out to get me, no one was following me. So why wouldn’t the feeling go away.
I saw an alleyway a little way off, and made my way there, wanting to get to a quiet spot to gather my thoughts. It was partially hidden from the main street, and I figured my panic would finally subside if my mind understood I was somewhere safe.
I opened the fence that led into the alley, checking yet again to see if there was anyone around. But there was no one in sight.
Walking down the alley, I pressed my back against the brick wall and shook with unexplained fear. The tears were really threatening to fall now, burning my eyes and making me want to run for my life even though it didn’t seem like I was in any kind of immediate danger.
Carina’s backpack slid off my shoulder in a moment of carelessness, and the money she’d given me fell on the ground, fanning all over the alleyway. I cursed out loud, kneeling and picking up the bills, clumsily shoving them back inside the bag.
Once I got everything, I straightened up again, the once again full bag resting by my feet. I let out a cry, the only one I’d allow myself, and turned around to walk out of the alleyway again.
When I bumped into a hard, unyielding chest, a scream escaped my throat, but his gloved hand was on my mouth before I could make a sound. My eyes flew up and my body flailed while my mind screamed. Not again. Please, not again.
And in the smallest corner of my mind, there was another thought making its way to the surface.
Please. Please let it be him. Let him take me back home. Let him forgive me.
“Rose,” he growled darkly, and I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to discern whether he was real or a mirage. “Fucking look at me.”
Once again, my eyes flew open. I stared up at him, eyes filled with tears.
Thorn, my Thorn. His palm over my mouth, his eyes thunderous as he towered over me.
“You ran,” he growled, and my whole body shook as we stared at one another. “You ran away from me, my little Rose. Why did you run?”
I couldn’t have answered even if I tried to. He knew the reasons. He knew I ached to dance, to be free. But I knew what the real question was there.
Hadn’t our connection been strong enough? The love we felt for one another, the crazy fucking attraction between us. Hadn’t all of it been enough for me to forgo a different life? To forget about everything else and commit myself to him, belong to him, be his property?
