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He nodded in a pleased way at that—because he couldn’t smile, I realized—and then he walked in a careful arc around me, to where he’d tossed the other monster’s head.
He positioned it with his arms to be neck up, and then reached inside to what I could only assume were the other monster’s brains to pull some out and then offer them tome. It looked like a pile of pink goo in his hands, and all things considered, I would have preferred another Go-Gurt.
“Oh, no, spider-dude,” I said, butt-scooting in the exact opposite direction of whatever-the-fuck was now happening. “And we were getting along so good, too.”
He chittered at me, crooning the thing he liked to call me—probably “Sloane” in spider-ese—and then waved his hand in a dramatic fashion, before lifting it to his own mouth, miming that I should eat.
I noted, however, that he did not actually partake of monster brains himself.
“Uh, two things,” I said, shaking my head. “A, that’s fucking disgusting. B, how about no.”
He looked from the brains, to me, then stalked forward in a dramatic fashion.
I guessed our tender moment was over, and we were back to bounty-hunter and bounty.
“I don’t fucking think so!” I said angrily.
Five seconds after that I was lashed to the ground.
“This isn’t fair!” I shouted—but then I clamped my mouth shut, so he couldn’t shove monster brains in it. He was looming over me now. He’d just silked me with his webs faster than I could’ve moved even if my leg wasn’t broken, and he didn’t look like he was going to back down.
He crooned again and again to me, while I frowned and shook my head. He seemed infinitely sad at that, his shoulders falling, then he mimed eating it again, like he thought I didn’t get the idea.
“Yeah?” I dared taunting. “If it’s so good—you eat some, first!”
He blinked at that, appeared to pause to consider it—and then did so.
Watching him eat about made my eyes fall out of my head. Both of his jaws, upper, and lower, were capable of independent motion, and he had fangs framing a row of teeth, all of which you would think would get in the way, but didn’t because he could apparently fold them in at will—and inside his mouth he had a long, thick, dark tongue. It unfurled out of his mouth, and I watched him eat the entire palmful of brains, before going back to get more to share with me.
“Fucking hell,” I cursed—but then knowing I wasn’t going to get out of it, I closed my eyes to eat some out of his hand when he returned like I was some kind of lap dog.
I hoped my maid was remembering to give Mercy her medicated treats.
The texture was awful. Mushy. Like bananas, which I hated, but then, the flavor—I made a contented sound like I’d just had my first plate at Thanksgiving, which made spider-dude croon again in return.
“Yeah, okay, don’t rub it in,” I said, lifting my head up and licking my lips, before struggling against the webs. “Can you let me go? I’d eat better with my own hands.”
Somehow I managedto ignore the fact that we were decanting dinner out of a monster skull. I was thirsty too—but the stuff we were eating was wet enough I knew it would help.
“You have to eat too,” I said when spider-dude started to pull away. I didn’t want to be the only one with the memory of this moment seared into her eyeballs for forever. “Ninnnyean. Eat.”
He twisted his head this way and that.
“Or otherwise I’m going to assume it’s poisonous, and you’re tricking me,” I said, even as I reached in for another handful. I offered it to him, first, in case he didn’t understand. “I can’t get out of here on my own, mister, so stop being vegan.”
He eyed me strangely, then grabbed the wrist of my hand that proffered food.
And that . . . did bad things to me.
I’d managed to not be horny for a few minutes, what with the threat of imminent demise and forced feeding, but now—he lowered his head, with all of its very many frightening teeth down to eat the brains on my hand, and when there was no more to bite-up he licked my hand clean.
That. Tongue. Though.
Fuuuuuuck.
“Uh, good boy,” I said, when he was through, yanking my hand back to clean it on my spider-silk sweater. “Keep eating?”
I was full now, but I dearly needed him to be doing Something Else away from me so that I could get myself under control again.
