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“Don’t cry,” he said, stroking my face. “I’m not telling you this to upset you, but because I need you to know. To understand why I am this way.”
“I know that,” I promised him. “And I want to hear it, Sebastian. This isn’t about me, it’s about you. You’ve carried this alone for far too long. Let me help you. Let me be there for you. It’s all I want to do.”
He kissed me softly. “I don’t deserve you.”
“You deserve everything,” I echoed his own words back to him. “You might not like the person you became after this, but honestly? I’m so proud of you.”
Sebastian’s brows flew up. “What?”
“I’m proud of you,” I repeated, stroking his face. “You survived, when so many others would’ve given up.”
“Barely,” he whispered. “I did so many bad things, sunshine. I can’t even promise you I won’t do them again in the future. Especially if someone threatens you.”
“I’m not asking you to promise that,” I told him firmly. “I already told you, I love you exactly as you are. All I ask is that you don’t shut me out.”
“Never,” he vowed. “Never again.”
Chapter 35
Sebastian
We continued walking around the remains of the castle in silence. We’d reached the foundations of the eastern wall when Matty suddenly stopped.
“Wait, what happened to Laurent?”
I scoffed. “Oh, he was killed by the alpha he was so desperately in love with.”
“Wow, what an idiot. Talk about putting all your eggs in the wrong basket.”
“Tell me about it,” I muttered, gratified that Matty saw it the same way I did. “He didn’t die from his injuries straight away though. After I’d killed the others, he begged me to save him.”
“He did what?”
“He asked me to mate with him. To give him a second chance. Theoretically it was possible. He was mortally wounded, but if I’d mated with him, his life would’ve been saved.”
Would this be too much for Matty? The moment when he realised just how deep my cruelty could run?
For a few seconds, he was speechless. Then Matty said something I never thought would leave his lips.
“What a cunt.”
I barked a laugh, the sound ringing out over my former home.
“Sorry,” Matty said sheepishly, running a hand through his curls. “I don’t like that word, but it definitely applies here.”
“It does,” I agreed, throwing an arm around his shoulders and tugging him close. “He was an utter cunt. I watched him die without a shred of regret.”
“Good,” Matty said darkly. “I hope he’s rotting away in Hell.”
“Probably.” I shrugged, relieved that Matty didn’t judge me for it. “I never cared enough to check. I figured his heart had been broken by being betrayed, just as mine had. That felt like punishment enough for me.”
“What happened to the castle?”
“I torched it,” I said heavily. “It’s the only part I regret, if I’m being honest. For so many centuries I was glad I had, knowing the memories would only torture me. But now…now I kind of wish I had something to remember them by. A place to visit them other than their graves.”
“Are their graves nearby?”
I nodded. “Half a mile in that direction.”
