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“Come on, bitch,” Bianca says, snatching the book that I’m reading out of my hand and placing it on my bedside table.
“I was reading that,” I mutter.
She rolls her eyes. “I know. It’s all you’ve been doing this week if you're not in class or doing school work. But it’s Saturday night and we are not spending it in our room, all gloom and doom. So, get up and get dressed. We’re going out.”
“Going where? I’m not in the partying mood.” I sigh, sitting up on the bed and crossing my legs.
“Good thing we’re not going to a party.” She goes over to my closet and starts to look through it.
“Then where are we going?”
“Clay told me about this underground club thing that the students go to. They bet on fights and stuff. He said something about the students using it to let off steam and to make a bit of money. Some of the RVU students go too, but he said they just go to fight.”
“So, we’re going to what? A fight club?” My brows furrow.
She pulls out a pair of my fancy ripped jeans and tosses them to me. “Put these on. And yeah, pretty much. There’s a bar and a dance floor too, but it’s mostly for the fights.”
Digging through my dresser, she grabs one of my bralette crop tops and tosses that to me as well. “This too. Girl, you're going to have Ryan drooling.” She wiggles her eyebrows.
“Ryan? He’s coming too?”
She nods. “ He and Clay invited us.”
“I don’t know, Bee.”
“Come on, please?” she pleads. “You’ve been a grumpy bitch, and I miss my sunshine and rainbow bestie. I know your brother can be an overbearing asshole, but so is mine. Don’t let him get to you. We can test out our new fake IDs and have some fun.”
“What if we get caught?”
She gives me a mischievous grin. “Then rich daddy, Brody, can bail you out of jail.”
I narrow my eyes. “We’re eighteen, Bee.”
“So, what? Do you think we’re the only underage people going? I don’t even think they will card us because the fighting isn’t exactly legal as it is. Come on, live a little.”
“Fine,” I sigh. Anything beats sitting here and thinking about Toby.
“Yay!” she squeals. “You're the best. Come on, get dressed, so we can go meet up with the guys.”
AN HOUR LATER, WE’RE standing in a dingy looking club. Okay, it’s not too bad, but it’s dark, there's a lot of people here, and the music is loud.
“This is so cool!” Bianca yells with excitement, eyes wide as she takes in everything.
“You okay?” Ryan says in my ear so I can hear him over the music.
I smile up at him and nod. He wraps his arm around my shoulder and leads me through the room, following after Clay as we find a place to sit.
Ever since our date, and agreeing to just stay friends, we’ve grown closer. I think it’s safe to say, he’s joined my top five best friends list. He’s funny, a good listener, and I just enjoy being around him.
I do feel bad about not telling Bianca that we’re not dating, but by the way Clay acts, I don’t think Ryan has told him either. Maybe he feels the same way I do and doesn't want to admit to our friends that our date was a failure because we’re still hung up on other people. Even though it’s the truth, whether we want it to be or not.
We’ve been hanging out every day. He has walked me to classes and eats lunch with us. Clay and Bianca have pretty much become a couple, although she hasn’t said that they were official. She made it clear that they were just having fun and she still wants to enjoy the year like we planned, even though I’ve abandoned that mission by shacking up with Ryan. Her words, not mine.
But even if there was no Ryan, I don’t think I could do it. The idea of dating, meeting other guys, it’s just not something I’m ready for right now. I don’t want to end up using them the same way I did Jonas, to forget about Toby. It’s not fair to anyone if I’m hung up on another person.
I’m not opposed to dancing and having fun at a party, but it wouldn’t go past that.
I want to make sure I’m over Toby before I put myself out there again. That way, when I do have sex, it’ll be with someone I care about enough to give that piece of myself to.
