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She turns and heads towards the door, pulling a robe from the back of it. I can't help but notice there's not one mark on any of her tattoos. Why preserve them and wreck every other piece of skin?
As she slides the robe on, she glances back over her shoulder. “Water’s still warm if you wanna warm up. I can hear your teeth chattering from here. When your clothes are dry, you can head back to whatever fresh hell you came from, marriage or not. You're no longer my responsibility.”
She steps through the door and clicks it shut behind her. Taking a deep, shaky breath, I close my eyes and wipe the tear away from my cheek. I slide into the bath and hope I don't lose my toes and that I grow a pair of balls to deal with Ray when I leave the sanctuary of the bathroom.
I step out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around my waist and my boxers in my hand. She’s curled up on the sofa with a mug in her hand, and there's another steaming one on the table in front of her. I smile and walk across, throwing my boxers on the airer. I pick up the mug and sit down on the table right in front of her.
“Thanks.”
She just picks up her own mug and takes a drink, and we sit in silence.
After the drinks are gone, the air is certifiably uncomfortable. “You wanna talk?”
She just looks through me. “I think applying for divorce about sums up what I needed to say, but clearly, you’ve got something to say, or you wouldn't be here, so let's just get it over and done with, shall we?”
She just stares at me and waits and fucking waits. This is why she’s our Enforcer. She leaves it till it's that uncomfortable, you’ll tell her whatever she wants to stop the fucking awkward silence.
“I'm sorry, Ray.” I shake my head. “I don’t know what I was thinking…”
“Yeah, you do.”
“What?”
“You know exactly what you were thinking. You believed what you were told because I’ve been so disloyal and such a terrible wife, then when you were given a so-called message from me and ended up in the medical wing and the doctor flashed her eyes and offered to flash you her stinking vag, you took it. You wanted to hurt me. Check. You wanted to punish me. Check. You wanted me to feel how betrayed you felt, how hurt you felt, and how alone you felt. Check, check, fucking check!” She shakes her head. “Did I miss anything about how fucking bad I made you feel? Huh?”
“Ray!”
“Nothing more to add? I think we're done here, Steel. I hope you find someone you truly deserve, and both of you can fuck till your dick falls off. Now I'm tired, so you should go!”
“Ray.”
“Steel, pleasure as always. Don't let the door hit you in the arse on the way out.”
She stands, throwing some more logs on the fire, then walks over to the bed, removes her robe and slides between the covers, leaving her back to me. Fuck. I start shaking my clothes out, and I’m just about to get dressed, and I feel like I hear the tiniest noise, the tiniest exhale, sniffle, whimper, something. I fucking hear something. I drop my clothes and climb into bed at the side of her, pulling her body as close to mine as I can get, and I wrap my arms around her and hug her so tight I wouldn’t be surprised if she couldn’t actually breathe.
I can feel her crying, although barely a sound comes from her. I can feel the way her body moves that she’s trying to hold it in. She takes a deep breath.
“You were supposed to be mine.”
“I know!”
“You were supposed to be my forever.”
“I know!”
“I only asked for two things, and you couldn't do them!”
“I know!”
She stills and takes a breath. “You’re off the hook.”
“What?”
“I forgive you, we're done here. You can leave now, conscience clear, game over, no repercussions, just over. That's what you came for, right?”
“No, I came to apologise. I came to grovel and plead my case. I came to win you back and take you home. I can't live without you, Ray. I fucked up. The whole situation was fucked up, and everything you said was right. But I love you. I need you to come back with me. I need you to come home, Ray.”
“My home’s not there anymore, Steel. Even my own sister turned her back on me and believed I would screw you all over. What does that actually say about me, that the people I would die for think so little of me?”
