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I’m sitting in court waiting for my arraignment to start. Scar and her dad are with me. Her dad flew in yesterday, and Scar has brought him up to speed with everything. I’m asked to plead, and I plead not guilty. The prosecution argues that Ray won’t be safe if I’m let out on bail, and the judge agrees.
I’m about to jump out of my seat when David, Scar's dad, places a hand on my knee. “Pick your battles, son. We’re gonna need to play smart. This doesn’t add up, so I need you to stay quiet, out of trouble and keep your head down. This is gonna get so much worse before we find the truth. Don’t give up on her. She wouldn’t you! Whatever’s going on, until we see her, it’s all hearsay!”
I nod. I mean, I know that’s what I need to do, but my heart’s already broken. I’m already ruined, and I don’t think I will ever be the same. She destroyed me when all I ever wanted was her. I’ll never be able to trust another woman. I don’t even think I could bring myself to be intimate with another woman. She was it for me.
There’s another hearing set for four weeks. Apparently, the Evidentiary Hearing is where everything’s laid out, and Ray will give evidence. I need to look her in the eye when she says these lies. I need to see the look on her face when she rips my beating heart out of my chest and squeezes the life out of it for good. I know it won’t beat again after that. Either way, I will die, whether it be at her hand or if I’m in prison. I remember the day I asked for a divorce, and she told me that I could put myself in a body bag or she would do it for me! That feels like my only option now, too.
Seeing as I’m refused bail as my wife is so terrified of me; she fears for her life and is in protective custody, I’m taken back to jail.
The seconds tick by so slowly, eventually turning to minutes painstakingly pitifully dragged out to what feels like an eternity, before finally turning into hours, stalling, stuttering, and backtracking, barely making it into days.
Scar and David came to see me. They informed me the footage at the bar to prove I was there had been erased, and so had all the footage two hours either side of me being arrested outside the security offices. There’s no footage of the ball.
Apparently, Bernie sent two teams of two guys undercover with Ray after what happened before. But that’s all the information Scar could get as Bernie, Cade, Bran and Dane have disappeared. And no one’s been able to locate the security guys since, making everything look more suspicious. The blood on Ray's phone and rings was hers, so it fits with her version of events.
Her fabricated version of events are that she had left me for this Carlisle guy, they had moved in together, well they were staying at a hotel, they’d gone to the ball, had a lovely evening and stopped off at the security office for Ray to pick up some paperwork. I had been following them and shot the guy, the driver had run off, never to be seen again. I kidnapped and hurt Ray before leaving her tied up in a warehouse.
Then I’d gone back to the crime scene to plant the phone, shoes and rings on his body to make it look like he had hurt her and she’d killed him, I mean, you couldn’t make this shit up, but apparently, my fucking wife could and did or has. The person who had called the police and said they saw me shoot him had given all our names and descriptions and said we were arguing outside the security office about the affair as I dragged her from the vehicle by her hair. Once I was locked up, Ray managed to get herself free and to the police station and was immediately taken into protective custody. I mean, it wouldn’t make a best seller, but someone has a right imagination.
Scar and David say although the murder weapon was found in my truck, there was no gunshot residue on my hands, and my fingerprints weren’t on the gun. Scar says it’s circumstantial at best, which isn’t reassuring when it's fabricated anyway. The person who called the police hasn’t been found.
So I spend my seconds hoping they turn into minutes quicker than they did the minutes before. And hope the hours don’t drag longer than the hours before that. I’ve counted the bricks in each wall, the bars in my cell and every thought somehow reverts back to her. Every time my eyes close, she’s there reaching for me, and every time I reach back, she slips through my fingers. I wake in a panic, a cold sweat, panting for breath, and when I wake from my nightmares, I realise I’m still in them, and there’s no way out.
I try to keep my head down in here, but I’m a big motherfucker, and someone’s always trying to cause shit. They know why I’m in here; they think I did it and taunt me over the fact my wife left me for a rich dude. I try to keep calm and try and tune it all out, but I’m worried I’m gonna snap before I get to the hearing, and then they will just throw the book at me, lock me up and throw away the key.
The only thing going my way is that I haven’t had another panic attack as in here that would be fatal. I would be seen as weak and picked off, and I’m getting verbal lashings, but a glare and my sheer size and height keep them all at arm's length. No one’s really sure what I’m capable of, and no one’s willing to test it just yet, but if that happened, I would be fair game. It’s not that I can’t take care of myself. I mean, I’m the fucking Lieutenant for the Reapers, for Christ’s sake! But at the minute, I'm broken.
I try not to think of her, but she consumes me. I try to distract myself, but she devours me. The slightest thing reminds me of her, and in that moment, my emotions flair. I want so bad to strangle her, to wring the life out of her, and as I picture myself doing it, that’s when the heat slides in, my heart starts to pound, then my dick throbs and I remember the feel of my hand around her throat as I slid inside her. I can feel her everywhere; her touch still lingers, and I want to rip off the skin or caress it. I can’t make up my mind. I’m in such a quandary and wound tighter than a two-dollar watch.
I’m fractured. Half of me forgives her, loves her, still wants her, can’t live without her and the other half of me… well, he just wants to wring the life out of her and possibly bury his dick in her at the same time. I’m so confused.
Scar
I’m tired. No, I’m exhausted, emotionally, physically, mentally. I don’t believe this, I can’t, and until I see her in that witness stand, I won’t, but the case against her is damning. Dice has found nothing. There is no CCTV, no street cams, and no footage of any sort of the limo, the ball or the aftermath. Someone’s covering their tracks, and I know Ray isn’t capable of doing that, but she has so many contacts… they have so many contacts that it looks bad, it looks so bad.
If my dad wasn’t here championing for her in my ear, I’m afraid I would be with Ares on this one. She’s destroyed us all. Ares hates her with a vengeance; he was teetering before over The Armoury stuff, but this has tipped him over the edge. I think if he can get to her in court, he will rip her to shreds, and I half think she deserves it. I’ve not found any evidence to support her story, but there’s also none to support Steel’s. What we do have is a dead guy, a murder weapon and a giant fucking mess.
The guys are out trawling the streets trying to find any small shop owner or homeowner that has security footage to help our case, but we’re coming up empty. Dice got a message from Tank telling us they found chips in all their phones, and Dice checked ours, and we had them too, so we’ve all had new phones. The FBI found nothing on the computers they seized, but Dice said they wouldn’t, and they turned every inch of this area over and found nothing. The only rooms they didn’t find were the secret basement here and in the barn.
I’m running on fumes as the door swings open to the law firm, and in walks Beauty. She only works around the corner, and she has coffee and pastries, and I walk over and hug her. “Shit, I’m glad to see you.” I sag into her.
“That bad, huh?”
I just nod, steal some coffee, and slump back into my chair.
“There must be something, Scar. I don’t believe this. I know it looks bad, but after everything she did to save the boys when they got taken… I know you’ve known her forever, but I won’t believe it till I see her.”
“I wish it were that simple, Beauty, but she’s left a right fucking trail of destruction, and sifting through the wreckage, all I’m finding is empty, devastated, and broken hearts. I don’t know if anything is salvageable. It’s like with her gone, everything’s falling apart.”
“Hey, let’s go for a walk, get some fresh air, go and sit on the bench in the square.”
“Beauty, I can’t. I’m going through her witness statement and— ”
“And nothing!” She slams her hand down on top of the folder. “A break for thirty minutes, and then we’ll go through it together. Deal?”
“Deal.” I sigh because I really do need a break. I'm overwhelmed and emotional over it all. I can’t believe what’s happening, and I feel numb. I stand and grab Beauty’s hand, and we head out to the bench.
I plonk myself down and relax my head back, staring up at the sky. I’ve never felt this alone since before I met Ray. I can’t imagine my life without her. She’s my reason for being, my reason for living and right at this moment, my heart is breaking. I close my eyes and feel the warmth of the sun on my skin. I feel a single tear streak down my face, and I try to hold it in, to draw it back. I try to will it to disappear, and then I feel Beauty pull me in, and I sob. I let all those unshed tears that I’ve held for weeks flow; my heart breaks at losing my other half, my soul shatters at losing its twin, and I break.
