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“You love her! Like we all do, and we've been shitty brothers, and we need to stop her,” Blade says. I glance at Bran and Dane, who are standing shoulder to shoulder, arms across their chests, not saying a word.
“How do I fix this? How do we fix it?”
Bran laughs. “You act like Ray’s so complicated. She’s really not.”
“Just tell her you're sorry, you will try to be better, and take the punch,” Dane adds.
“Take the punch?” I shake my head. “Nope, no, someone else can go. I’ve made my peace with her leaving. Everything will be fine!”
“Pussy!” Tank laughs as he walks off.
“Easy for you to say, she’s not gonna punch you!” I shout after him. But then we all follow him out of the barn anyway and head towards the apartment. I hang back. What the fuck do I say to her? I know everything is actually my fault for not trusting her, but fuck, how do you admit that to someone who gets under your skin so much that you wanna rip each other's throats out before you hug it out?
As we reach the bottom of the stairs, the door opens, and a bag comes flying out over the bannister, thudding to the floor. A minute or so later, another one follows it. Then, after a lot of cursing, Ray appears, rubbing her back.
“Motherfucking babies kicking me every goddamned fucking second of the fucking day!” she grumbles as she closes the door, turns and sees us all standing there. “Fucking hell, guys, do we have to do this? I’m going. My lift’s on his way; just give me ten, fifteen minutes tops, and I will be gone. You don’t have to see my fucking ugly mug again! Okay… please… I just can’t anymore!”
She hangs her head as she walks down the stairs, her eyes not meeting any of ours as she pushes through us. I’m at the back, so I step in front of her and cross my arms over my chest.
“Ares, please don’t! I’m done, okay, just please let me leave. I can't argue anymore. I'm drained.”
“I know.” I step forward and wrap my arms around her. She tries to push me off, and I hold her tighter. “I’m sorry, Ray, I’m so sorry. Please stay. I can't lose you, too, or the babies!” I feel her shudder in my arms, and I pull back slightly, but she pulls me to her harder and just sobs into me while I rub my hand up and down her back. “I love you,” I whisper for only her to hear.
After a few minutes, she pulls back and scrubs a hand down her face. “I can’t stay, Ares. There’s nothing left for me here anymore. I lost my reason for being, my reason for breathing, I lost my sister, I lost my brothers.” She turns to look at all their faces, and their eyes are all red-rimmed and glistening. “What do I have left? A club that hates me? What kind of life is that for my children?”
“None of us hate you, Ray. We love you. You can’t leave. Please don’t leave me. I’m lost without you!” Dice says.
Stepping forward and crushing her into his chest, she starts to sob again, muttering, “It’s the babies making my hormones all screwy. I’m not really crying.”
“Sure it is.” Dice teases. Pulling her closer and whispering something in her ear, she nods. He squeezes her again and steps back. She looks up, glassy-eyed, and takes us all in.
“Does this mean you’ll stay?” I ask hopefully.
She shakes her head. “I just need to be alone for a bit. I need… I don’t think I can stay here. I just need some time.”
“Ray, please. I step forward again. Give us a chance to make this up to you. Just let us try?”
“Ares, I… I…”
One of the guys pulls alongside us all in an armoured truck and gets out. “Ray, you ready?”
“Yeah.” She nods, resting her hand on my chest. “Not forever, just for now.”
“Promise?”
“I promise!”
I step away and grab her bags for her, throwing them in the truck. “Call me and let me know where you end up, Ray. Please don’t go too far, okay?”
She nods as she steps into the truck, and they drive off. I can’t help feeling like we’ve failed her, and in return, we failed Steel and the babies. “Does she have anything for the babies?”
“What?” Tank asks.
“The babies, does she even have anything for them with everything that’s gone on? Surely she hasn’t been shopping. That’s how we make her see she belongs here. We babyproof the fuck out of that apartment and set up a nursery and… fuck, everything. She’s gonna need everything. Dozer, get Beauty to give me a call. I need her organisational skills. Boys, get your hand in your pockets and let’s buy some shit!”
“You do realise Ray is loaded and can just buy this all herself?” Dane chuckles.
“Don’t you piss on my sorry! This is what we’re doing to show how much we care and shit like that. We’re gonna make sure those babies have a home here and never want to leave. I lost my brother. I refuse to lose his children, too.” I clap my hands. “Let’s get to work!”
