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Soon, I would be back on my home planet, and I could see that Vanessa was not ready to change our relationship. It was time I stopped killing myself to keep us together.
“If you think so little of our relationship, of me, then maybe I was wrong.” Her eyes widened and her lips parted. The sadness on her face nearly stopped me, but I forced myself to keep going. “I cannot keep trying to convince you to be with me.”
Vanessa’s expression changed from sadness to disbelief. “What are you saying?” she asked, her voice shaking.
“I’m saying that maybe it’s time for us to go our separate ways,” I said, the words feeling like a punch to my gut. “I’m sorry, Vanessa, but I can’t keep trying to make this work if you’re not willing to meet me halfway.”
Vanessa’s eyes filled with tears and she looked away, unable to meet my gaze. “I... I don’t know what to say,” she murmured. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just... I need time to think.”
“I understand,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady. “But I’ve given you a lot of time. If you don’t want our bond, then I’m done.”
With that, I clicked off the holo call, feeling a mix of emotions - sadness, anger, frustration, and relief. It hurt to let Vanessa go, but I knew it was the right thing to do.
As I walked back to my nephews, I couldn’t help but wonder what the future held for me, and whether I would ever find someone who truly understood me.
The problem was I didn’t just want someone. I wanted Vanessa.
I spent the rest of the day playing with Sono and Saya, trying to push the thoughts of Vanessa out of my mind. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had made a mistake. Maybe I was being too harsh on her. After all, our bond was still new and she needed time to adjust.
But then again, I had given her plenty of time. I couldn’t just keep waiting around for her to come around.
As the day wore on, I found myself growing more and more restless. I needed to do something to take my mind off of Vanessa.
But the harder I tried, the more I failed. There was nothing I could do.
“Uncle Zorak,” Saya whined as I stood outside with them. We were supposed to be playing some game, but I didn’t even listen to their made-up rules. “Come on!” He tugged at me.
I forced a smile and ruffled Saya’s hair. “Sorry, buddy. I’m just not feeling too well today.”
Sono looked up at me with concern etched on his face. “Are you okay, Uncle Zorak?”
I nodded, but they could see right through me. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just need some rest.”
As they went back to playing, I leaned against a nearby tree and let out a deep sigh. My mind was still on Vanessa. I knew I had made the right decision, but it didn’t make it any easier.
I closed my eyes and tried to take deep breaths, but my mind kept drifting back to her. I could almost see her face, hear her voice.
But when I opened my eyes again, she wasn’t there. I was still alone, and for some reason, that hit me with more finality than it had before.
Chapter 24
Vanessa
It had been hours and I was still sitting on the floor of my room, staring at the holo in my palm. I guess a part of me was willing it to ring, to show me Zorak again, but it was lifeless.
Just like I felt.
“What have I done?” I mumbled, not for the first time.
I had been pushing Zorak away this whole time. And now, I had gone too far. Why didn’t I realize how much this was going to hurt until it was too late?
I forced myself up off the floor, flicking on the holo. The images of Zorak and the boys -- who I know knew were his nephews -- flashed before me.
Just like before, anger flared up in me as I stared at the images, but it wasn’t because I suspected Zorak was lying this time. No, it was because of the betrayal I felt from Lyle.
He had purposefully made me think that Zorak was hiding a family from me. He had made a mockery of my love.
“Oh, gods,” I whispered as the thought passed through my head. I was in love. I really was in love. And this time, I didn’t feel any doubts around it. I was ready, and I had screwed it up.
