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The silence is tense, and I finally say the words I’ve rehearsed all these years.
“I didn’t leave without trying to contact you. I tried. They took everything.” My bitter, angry words sound more like my sixteen-year-old self.
I can feel his eyes burning into the side of my face.
“I met your pack. Once. In passing.”
I jerk my eyes to him and then look away. Even I can smell the guilt and shame wafting off me. “Did you?”
“You don’t seem to miss them much.”
I shrug. “I do, sometimes.” It’s the honest truth.
“I’m trying to understand your motives here, Red, and I’m struggling. It looks terrible right now. My pack is enamored by you, but they don't know you like I do. I know you better than anyone else ever has. Is this payback? Is this revenge?”
I turn to stare at his profile. His words hurt, and I have to blink back tears that form. How could he think that? I study him in the low light. Even sitting here threatening me, I still find my heartbeat quickening. My palms getting sweaty. I still want to crawl into his lap and curl up in his arms.
It’s really very pathetic of me.
“You don’t know me at all, Gold. You know, a sixteen-year-old girl who thought her alpha was going to come back and rescue her from the horrors of life. That fairy tale is over. I grew up, I survived, and I did it alone.”
“But the heart of you is still there, isn’t it? Take what you want and leave us all behind. Isn’t that what you’ve spent your entire career doing? Taking companies, gutting them, and selling off the scraps?”
I hear the silent ‘the way you did me’ that he doesn’t say.
We sit in brittle silence, a ceasefire. I try not to let his bitter judgements burn their way into my soul because if there was anyone who could hurt me with words, it’s this alpha. Hell, he could rip me apart and slay me with a look.
And we both know it.
“Do you remember when we first met?” I ask softly.
“I hated you. Your father had his friend put you in a white dress. You looked pure and wrong. But I could see past all those ribbons and ringlets.” Fury drips from his voice.
“You came into my room, covered my mouth, and told me you hated me and you always will.” I whisper gently, smiling at the memory. “But you didn’t. We were friends up until the last few months, and then we were more.”
“You kissed me,” He spits out, offended. “I wanted to kill you, and you stole my will away. You always make me so crazy.”
“How could I not kiss you? You were everything I was too young to realise I wanted. And by the time I did, it was too late.”
Gold drags his fingers through his hair, his jaw tense as he glares out at the storm.
“We fought in front of them, arguing and bickering, but at night, we’d sneak out, and it would be like a different world. I still remember every moment.” Gold whispers, and now his voice softens. I shiver. “Do you still sneak out, waiting for me to appear?”
I can’t answer that. I can’t. It takes a moment for the bubble of pain to go down enough for me to speak. Of course, I wait for you.
“So, what are you going to do?” I ask softly. “I’m not trying to hurt them.”
He turns so he’s facing me, and I see the hard conviction in his eyes. The absolute certainty. “But you will. That’s what you do. You leave a trail of broken people behind you.”
I flinch, hearing what he’s not saying. “I see. Well, that answers that question.” I stand up and look down at him. “Do you remember the stories my grandma used to read to us?”
He glances up at me. “What about them?”
“The villain is only the villain in those stories because the hero wrote the book.” I whisper, then I turn and walk away, proud of the fact that I don’t cry, proud that my steps are calm and even.
I think I’ve lost him. First, when I presented. Then when he found his pack, and now…I don’t think he will ever forgive me. Gold is gone. The agony of that hurts more than anything Phil did or said.
I can feel his eyes on me right until I slip out the door. I wander aimlessly and find myself standing at another set of glass doors. The night gets lighter and gives way to day, but it’s still thick grey skies, and the rain continues to pour.
